Tell you Diesel Mechanic friend he is wrong. I have been a diesel mechanic for almost 10 years and anyone with a half a brain knows his analogy is incorrect.
If you doubt it, Right before you get your 4" installed, find the bigest long hill in your area and floor your truck going up and time yourself and remember your top speed, now, try again with your 4" exhaust and you will see a substantiall difference. I saw an almost 40degree EGT drop and alot more acceleration and spoolup. Ted Jannetty did this towing a trailer and it made a huge difference. It does not matter how small the turbo outlet is compared to the exhaust.
Think of it this way, if his theroy were true, then if you took a pressure nozzle which has a large VOLUME of water going through a small opening, if you attached a hose the same diameter as the nozzle it would flow the same volume?, No, you have 6 cylinders feeding a turbo, that exits through a 3" outlet then has to travel all the way to the rear of your truck and over the axle. As the exhaust cools it gets more dense, therefore it slows down, so a larger exhaust will flow MORE volume. If your entire exhaust were only 1 foot long, his theroy would be ok, but he is not taking into account the length of your exhaust. Without a large exhaust, the turbo will have backpressure which slows down how fast it spins. And that means LESS POWER.
I guess your Mechanic feels he is smarter then Banks, Jardine, Stans, Jannetty, and all the other performance diesel exhaust companies.
I would stay away from that Mechanic, the next thing he will tell you is to put a Fram oil filter in your truck