A political tragedy!

[Gary - K7GLD]

While visiting his niece, an elderly man had what was apparently a

stroke.



The woman drove wildly to get him to the emergency room. After what

seemed like a very long wait, the E. R. doctor appeared, wearing his

scrubs and a long face.

Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid that your uncle's brain is dead, but his

heart is still beating. "



Oh, dear," cried the woman, her hands clasped against her cheeks with

shock.

"We've never had a Democrat in the family before!"

 

[R-N-R]

ROFLMAO!!!! :-laf

 

[Sled Puller]

Thats really bad Gary.

 

[Headshot zod]

gary is my hero for today... .

 

[cap-n-cray]

Limerick Contest

The requirements this particular limerick contest were to use two words: "Lewinsky" (The Intern), and "Kaczynski" (the Unabomber) in the same limerick.



And the winners:



Third place:



There once was a gal named Lewinsky

Who played on a flute like Stravinsky.

'Twas "Hail to the Chief"

On this flute made of beef

That stole the front page from Kaczynski.



Second place:



Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,

"We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,

Since you made such a mess,

Use the hem of your dress

And please wipe that stuff off of your chinsky. "



And the winning entry:



Lewinsky and Clinton have shown

What Kaczynski must surely have known

That an intern is better

Than a bomb in a letter

When deciding how best to be blown.



Cary

 

[KBennett]

Good ones!



I'll add one to the list: (sorry it's in caps, that's how it was sent to me)



A POPULAR DES MOINES BARBER SHOP HAD A NEW ROBOTIC BARBER INSTALLED. A FELLOW CAME IN FOR A HAIRCUT. AS THE ROBOT BEGAN TO CUT HIS HAIR IT ASKED HIM, "WHAT'S YOUR IQ?" THE MAN REPLIED, "130. "



SO THE ROBOT PROCEEDED TO MAKE CONVERSATION ABOUT PHYSICS, ASTRONOMY, INVESTMENTS, INSURANCE, AND SO ON.



THE MAN LISTENED INTENTLY AND SAID, "THIS IS REALLY COOL. "

LATER, ANOTHER GENT CAME IN FOR A HAIRCUT AND THE ROBOT ASKED HIM AS IT BEGAN THE HAIRCUT, "WHAT'S YOUR IQ?" THE MAN RESPONDED, "100. "



SO THE ROBOT STARTED TALKING ABOUT FOOTBALL, BASEBALL, AND SO ON.

THE MAN THOUGHT TO HIMSELF, "WOW, THIS IS REALLY COOL. "

LATER ON, A THIRD GUY CAME IN TO THE BARBER SHOP. AS WITH THE OTHERS, THE ROBOT BARBER ASKED HIM, "WHAT'S YOUR IQ?" THE MAN REPLIED, "70. "



THE ROBOT PAUSED, THEN SAID, "SO, I UNDERSTAND YOU DEMOCRATS ARE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT HILLARY RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT" !!!



Oo. :-laf

 

[cap-n-cray]

Scientists Discover New Element



A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.



The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. The 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.



Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.



Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a re-organization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact Governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of the moron promotion leads scientists to believe Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.



This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.



It doesn't taste good either. The greater your exposure to it, the more bitter it becomes.



Cary