Let me go out on a limb here. I figure this'll give some of you fodder to slam me, but it may help others.
First and foremost, I know people feel VERY affected by the attacks. I had friends in NYC watching events the day it happened. I will never forget the expression on Dave's face... ... to put it in perspective, Dave is 6'0" 270lbs, and spends weekends as bouncer at the bar around the corner from my house. I have seen him pick up patrons, hold them aloft and walk them out the door. He thinks nothing of poking a guy in the face if he is a problem in the bar and swings first. Usually, the opposition swings once, and Dave removes the heap.
On September 11, I saw Dave at his apartment, standing on the second floor landing. His face was blank, shocked. It was the first time I felt I had to ask him if he was going to be ok. He barely spoke and said he would be ok later. He later told me of watching people jump from the WTC. I think a number of you are feeling the same way. Reality suddenly isn't real.
I feel it when I see damage to the Pentagon, a building I have been in. I feel it when I see a skyline of NYC... it doesn't look right. I feel it driving through the Philadelphia area, particularly to my mother's place, which is close to Willow Grove NAS. It hits home because I was there as a kid for a tour, and Dad entered the Navy there. It gets too real when I see huge transport planes, and hear fighters screaming overhead.
I have taken to doing the same thing in defense now as I did when Dad died almost four years ago. After the formality of services, it became apparent that Dad had put the wrong people in charge after his death, and they came looking for the house and heirlooms that the family had possessed for over a century.
For a year, I staved off attack after attack, not wanting to take action against Dad. I visited my grandmother for Christmas after he died. She commented on the situation, giving advice as she had for 91 years. Two months later, she too was gone. Less than a year had passed, and half of my family had died.
I did well for a week. I even managed to write a decent eulogy for my grandmothers memorial service, and delivered it with a bit of composure. I came home to find that Dads appointed representatives had called even as the service went on, demanding entrance to my home. I returned the message with polite refusal. Then I sat down, and spent the next few weeks working in a haze.
Suddenly, I was missing not one, but two permanent fixtures in my life. My brain went to a three day schedule; yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Some Fridays I found out it was Friday because the boss was coming around at 430 and telling us to knock off, it was time for a beer. That only happened on Friday, so even though it felt like Tuesday, it was Friday. I had a friend of mine call me on Monday mornings to let me know this day was for work again.
On weekends, I variously stared at the three generations of stuff I now owned, and drifted off to sleep wondering how to deal with it all. I suddenly had two houses, a three car garage with a second floor, and it was all full of stuff. Yeah, full. I brought home stuff from a storage area that held 2000 cubic feet of junk. One of my cars sits outside, and my living room doesn't get used.
In the mean time, my Dad's Representatives decided to sue me. I decided I needed a lawyer, and a checkup on my sanity. I figured out I was spending too much time staring at the wreckage. I realized that if Dad could die of cancer as easily as my grandmother died of old age, I had better get out and start doing a few things. I think this is where people are getting stuck.
I forget who posted it... ... . but there was a set of stats listing the things that did NOT happen, on here a few weeks ago. One example was that 95% of the people who could have been in the WTC were NOT in the building.
I stopped mourning my grandmother. Yeah, it was sad she had died. But before that, I had 34 years of great times. I still have one helluva nice house that she insisted on giving me. Best part is, I have years of experience and knowledge that she taught me. Life is not the same as before she died, but it is not sad, bad, or terrible. Dad left me next to nothing but headaches. Sadly, I miss him only because I figure he would have liked to see the truck. He and I did not see things the same till it was too late. In his closing hours, he conceded that even though I was not following his ideals to the letter, I was doing a "fine job". But I did get an education on electrical stuff from him. And I have a decent house, even if it needs more attention than I can give it.
I gave up feeling like crap because it stopped me from living. I spent a year wondering what to do next. After I realized I had missed opportunities, I started looking at what I wanted to do in 30 years, and what stood between me and that end. The stacks of boxes got smaller, even if they are still there. I spent more time working with kids. I pick projects I want to get done, and do them. I stopped wondering why people died. I started looking at how I could push their lifetime of achievement further in my own life.
Would those that died want us to stare at the ruins everyday? Nope. Will staring at the TV make things happen faster? Not a chance. What is there left to know that will change our lives farther than September 11th? Not a thing.
Flat out, this is an exciting time to be alive. Our nation is once again showing why its the best place on earth to be. History is being written each day. The economy is slowing, but it also gives us a chance to benefit by that slowdown. These attacks have led to less divorce, more thought is put to lifetime commitments, and people are once again finding that religion is one of the stabilizing elements of life. People are working as communities again, for fund raisers, care packages, and simply having parties because we are again one nation. Flags are flying from pickup trucks, not just at shows, but all over. Not just brand loyalty, but national loyalty. We all have one thing in common again.
It sounds odd..... but rephrase the constant questions.
What did these attacks do FOR America?
What can each of us contribute, not just to the national cause, but to anyone we know closer to home?
What do you each want to do before you can't do it?
What can wait while you grab that once in a lifetime opportunity?
After all is said and done... . what went right this weekend?
I can answer the last one easily. The kids in my youth group washed cars for four hours on Saturday. They raised $465, which will be matched (up to $450) by Lutheran Brotherhood's matching donation program. All this for a 16 year old who has no medical insurance and is in need of dialysis and a new kidney. I'm doggone proud of a bunch of teenagers, and maybe, just maybe, they feel pretty good too. Life is good.
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