Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
No Flaming Intended-It's A Joke 
Arkansaw Christmas!
>
> 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shack,
> not a darn thing was a movin', from the front to the back.
> The kids were in bed, ... we had nine at the time,
> The wife in her curlers, was lookin' real fine.
> A cold wind was blowin', up the holler it moaned,
> All ten dogs on the porch howled and groaned.
>
>
> The boys were all dreamin' of weapons and guns,
> for killin' God's creatures, ..... there's no better fun!
> The girls in their feminine dreams were attuned,
> to getting those gallons of Wal-Mart perfume.
> The wife wanted jewelry, like rings with big rocks,
> I just wanted my Chevy down off the blocks.
>
>
> Then out in the yard, such a noise did commence,
> like something was caught in our new 'bobwar' fence.
> I ran to the window, and saw pretty quick,
> the man makin' that racket, was Good Ol' St. Nick.
> You may think of Santa in your own mind's eye,
> dressed in a red and white suit, but, I've got a surprise.
>
>
> That old boy's an Arkie, from up near Mt. Gaylor,
> He married his cousin, and they live in a trailer.
> On Christmas, of course, a sleigh for his rig,
> He hooks the thing up to a Razorback pig!
> He climbed on the roof, with his bag full of goodies,
> He backed down the fireplace, all dirty and sooty.
>
>
> Fat legs in his britches, chubby hands in his mittens,
> I must admit from the back, he looked like Bill Clinton.
> He turned toward the tree, His eyes all aglow,
> He was an Arkansas boy from his head to his toe.
> His neck was a red one, His shirt said "Lite Beer",
> he had no red hat on, but his cap read "John Deere".
>
>
> He left all the presents, with an air of delight,
> Then it was back to the chimney, and into the night.
> He ran into the yard, threw his bag in the sleigh,
> Then he yelled at the dogs, "Get the heck out th' way!"
>
>
> I ran out to ask him Why he brought such good cheer;
> But instead he just asked me, "Did you get you a deer?"
> Then I heard him exclaim, as those pigs took to flight,
> "Merry Christmas to all..... I need a Bud Lite!"
Arkansaw Christmas!
>
> 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shack,
> not a darn thing was a movin', from the front to the back.
> The kids were in bed, ... we had nine at the time,
> The wife in her curlers, was lookin' real fine.
> A cold wind was blowin', up the holler it moaned,
> All ten dogs on the porch howled and groaned.
>
>
> The boys were all dreamin' of weapons and guns,
> for killin' God's creatures, ..... there's no better fun!
> The girls in their feminine dreams were attuned,
> to getting those gallons of Wal-Mart perfume.
> The wife wanted jewelry, like rings with big rocks,
> I just wanted my Chevy down off the blocks.
>
>
> Then out in the yard, such a noise did commence,
> like something was caught in our new 'bobwar' fence.
> I ran to the window, and saw pretty quick,
> the man makin' that racket, was Good Ol' St. Nick.
> You may think of Santa in your own mind's eye,
> dressed in a red and white suit, but, I've got a surprise.
>
>
> That old boy's an Arkie, from up near Mt. Gaylor,
> He married his cousin, and they live in a trailer.
> On Christmas, of course, a sleigh for his rig,
> He hooks the thing up to a Razorback pig!
> He climbed on the roof, with his bag full of goodies,
> He backed down the fireplace, all dirty and sooty.
>
>
> Fat legs in his britches, chubby hands in his mittens,
> I must admit from the back, he looked like Bill Clinton.
> He turned toward the tree, His eyes all aglow,
> He was an Arkansas boy from his head to his toe.
> His neck was a red one, His shirt said "Lite Beer",
> he had no red hat on, but his cap read "John Deere".
>
>
> He left all the presents, with an air of delight,
> Then it was back to the chimney, and into the night.
> He ran into the yard, threw his bag in the sleigh,
> Then he yelled at the dogs, "Get the heck out th' way!"
>
>
> I ran out to ask him Why he brought such good cheer;
> But instead he just asked me, "Did you get you a deer?"
> Then I heard him exclaim, as those pigs took to flight,
> "Merry Christmas to all..... I need a Bud Lite!"
)
