The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as 'Euro-English'.
In the first year the soft 'c' will be replaced with an 's'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one letter less.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased by the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' wit 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer ze nesesary 'o' can be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu onderstand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALY KUM TRU!!
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