We tow a 5ver that puts us at 21,180 GCW (21,500 GCWR), so we went with the Royal Purple synthetic 85W-140. No friction modifier was needed - the RP has friction modifier as part of its formulation, and we haven't had any chatter, etc. from the LSD in the 12,000 miles since we switched to the RP. The rear axle is noticeably quieter when towing with the RP.
Got mine at my local NAPA - they keep the RP synthetic 75W-90 and 85W-140 on the shelf.
Rusty