There is a relay board kit put out by Carls Electronics (
http://www.ElectronicsKits.com) that would work very well for what you want to do. It costs $12. 95 plus shipping.
It is a kit and requires soldering experience plus some knowledge of electronics, but is easy to assemble.
If you are not experienced in this stuff, I could help you.
It is an ideal circuit for what you want to do. It can be tapped directly to the TC control wire without affecting normal operation of the TC.
The board has two built in relays. You would use the proper one of them in series with the switch for your exhaust brake.
When the TC is unlocked, there is 12 volts on the wire that runs between the TC solenoid and the PCM. When the PCM calls for TC lockup, that voltage drops to near zero. If that wire is tapped and properly connected to the relay board, the relay will operate when TC lockup is called for.
When TC drops out and the voltage rises to 12, the relay will open.
The board requires 12 volts dc for operation and could be mounted in a small box about anywhere you would want to put it.
The kit number is CK1619 and is listed under relays as "Dual Hi/Lo Switched Relay Board"
If you want, I can send you a drawing of the relay showing how to connect it for what you want to do. Or, I would assemble one and send it to you for whatever the parts and postage costs.