Explaining Enron

[hammersley]

For those who can't understand the Enron case, this is put in the simplest

possible form so that everyone can understand.



An old country farmer, with serious financial problems, bought a mule

from another old farmer for $100, who agreed to deliver the mule the

next day.



However, the next day he drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some

bad news. The mule died. "



"Well, then, just give me my money back. "



"Can't do that. I went and spent it already. "



"OK, then. Just unload the mule. "



"What ya gonna do with a dead mule?"



"I'm going to raffle her off. "



"You can't raffle off a dead mule!"



"Sure I can. I just won't tell anybody she's dead. "



A month later the two met up and the farmer who sold the mule asked,



"Whatever happened with that dead mule?"



"I raffled her off just like I said I would. I sold 500 tickets at $2

apiece and made a profit of $898. "



"Didn't anyone complain?"



"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back. "

 

[Whitmore]

how true:-laf :-laf :-laf

 

[24V-DSL]

Yeah, and get ready for the putrid smell of a lot of mule carcasses yet to be discovered. It's just beginning.



These people should have their assets seized and throw their disgusting butts in prison for life.

 

[Pit Bull]

We have two groups in this country, the rich and then us. The rich make the rules and have the assets to hide behind all of the legal protections they have built into the laws that govern us. If one of us stole money from an employer we would go to jail and be sued for the money we took. Very sad

 

[Pit Bull]

By the way. Where is Robin Hood when you need him?

 

[stevek]

The world economy in relation to Enron

Feudalism

You have two cows.

Your lord takes some of the milk.

----------

Fascism

You have two cows.

The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the

milk.

----------

Pure Communism

You have two cows.

Your neighbors help take care of them and you all share the milk.

----------

Applied Communism

You have two cows.

You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

----------

Totalitarianism

You have two cows.

The government takes them both and denies they ever existed.

Milk is banned.

----------

Pure Democracy

You have two cows.

You and your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

----------

Representative Democracy

You have two cows.

Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

----------

Mexican Democracy

You have two cows.

The government takes both and drafts you into the army.

----------

European Democracy

You have two cows.

The EU commission decides which regulations for feeding and milking apply.

If there aren't any, they invent some.

They pay you not to milk the cows.

They take both cows, shoot one, milk the other and pour the milk down the

drain.

They then require you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

----------

American Democracy

The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it.

After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow

futures.

The press dubs the affair "cowgate," but supports the president.

The cows sue you for breach of contract.

Your legal bills exceed your annual income.

You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy.

----------

Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

----------

enron Venture Capitalism

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four

cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six

cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company

secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all

seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company

owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

 

[baby.driver]

What does Dodgeboyz have to say about all this?

 

[sdalton]

Originally posted by baby. driver

What does Dodgeboyz have to say about all this?

Milk is evil, and doesnt benefit me or my family, so I will just ignore milk.

 

[sdalton]

I would like to formally spank myself for my last comment. It was a cheap shot and completely uncalled for. I am a BAD BOY. I will leave Dodgeboyz alone. In this post anyway.