Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
Mike Ellis
TDR MEMBER
Ran across this in an old Aviation Week magazine (vintage December 12, 1949) and and thought some of you guys might enjoy it. It's somewhat like the engineering gobbledygook "Turbo Encabulator", but this one tells the story of a fearless pilot who decides to push his airplane just a littttlllee further. 
THE FAMOUS MITTY REPORT - We have received several copies of the famous autobiographical report by the mythical character Walter Mitty, allegedly written in 1947, and still making the rounds of our more serious brethren in aviation. It is a classic of engineering gibble-gabble-gobble-degook and we enrich the literature of American aviation by quoting it here. This version comes from Harold Hockstra of CAA. Here goes:
We were slipping smoothly through the air at 540 mph. I’d always liked the little XP-AZ5601-NG because of her simple controls and that Prandtl-Reynolds meter tucked away in the upper right corner of the panel. I checked over the gages. Water, fuel, rpm, Carnot efficiency, groundspeed, enthalpy. All OK. Course 270 degrees. Combustion efficiency normal at 23 percent. The good old turbojet was rumbling along as smoothly as always and Tony’s teeth were barely clattering from the 17 buckets she’d thrown over Schenectady. Only a small stream of oil was leaking from the engine. This was the life.
I knew the engine in my ship was good for more speed than we’d ever tried. The weather was so fair, the sky so blue, the air so smooth, I couldn’t resist letting her out a little. I inched the throttle forward a notch. The regulator only hunted a trifle and everything was steady after five minutes or so. 590 mph. I pushed the throttle again. Only two nozzles clogged up. I pushed the small-slot cleaner. Open again. 640 mph. Smooth. The tailpipe was hardly buckled at all - there were still several square inches open on one side. My fingers were itching on the throttle and I pushed it again. She worked up to 690 mph, passing through the shaft critical without breaking a single window in the ship. It was getting warm in the cockpit so I gave the vertex refrigerator a little more air. Mach 0.9! I’d never been that fast before. I could see a little shocklet outside the port window so I adjusted the wing shape and it disappeared.
Tony was dozing now and I missed the smoke from his pipe. I couldn’t resist letting the ship out another notch. In ten minutes flat we leveled off at Mach .95. Back in the combustion chambers the total pressure was falling like hell. This was the life! The Karman indicator showed red but I didn’t care. Tony’s candle was still burning. I knew gamma was down but I didn’t give a damn.
I was dizzy with the thrill. Just a little more! I put my hand on the throttle but just at that moment Tony stretched and his knee struck my arm. The throttle jumped up a full ten degrees! Crash! The little ship shuddered from stem to stern and Tony and I were thrown into the panel by the terrific deceleration. We seemed to have struck a solid brick wall! I could see the nose of the ship was crushed. I looked at the Mach meter and froze. 1.00! My God, I thought in a flash, we’re on the peak! If I don’t get her slowed down before she slips over, we’ll be caught in the decreasing drag! I was too late. Mach 1.01! 1.02! 1.03! 1.04! 1.06! 1.09! 1.13! 1.18! I was desperate but Tony knew what to do. In a flash he threw the engine into reverse! Hot air rushed into the tailpipe, was compressed in the turbine, debusted in the chambers, expanded out the compressor. Kerosene began flowing into the tanks. The entropy meter swung full negative. Mach 1.20! 1.19! 1.18! 1.17! We were saved. She crept back, she inched back, as Tony and I prayed the flow divider wouldn’t stick. 1.10! 1.08! 1.05! crash! We had struck the other side of the wall! Trapped! Not enough negative thrust to break back through! As we cringed against the wall, the tail of the little ship crushed, Tony shouted “Fire the JATO units!” But they were turned the wrong way! Tony thrust his arm out and swung them forward, the Mach lines streaming from his fingers. I fired them! The shock was stunning. We blacked out.
I came too as our gallant little ship, ragged from stem to stern, was just passing through Mach zero. I pulled Tony out and we slumped to the ground. The ship decelerated off to the east. A few seconds later we heard the crash as she hit the other wall.
They never found a single screw. Tony took up basket weaving and I went to MIT. -R.H.W.
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From Aviation Week magazine, Dec. 12 1949, p56.THE FAMOUS MITTY REPORT - We have received several copies of the famous autobiographical report by the mythical character Walter Mitty, allegedly written in 1947, and still making the rounds of our more serious brethren in aviation. It is a classic of engineering gibble-gabble-gobble-degook and we enrich the literature of American aviation by quoting it here. This version comes from Harold Hockstra of CAA. Here goes:
THROUGH THE SONIC WALL
We were slipping smoothly through the air at 540 mph. I’d always liked the little XP-AZ5601-NG because of her simple controls and that Prandtl-Reynolds meter tucked away in the upper right corner of the panel. I checked over the gages. Water, fuel, rpm, Carnot efficiency, groundspeed, enthalpy. All OK. Course 270 degrees. Combustion efficiency normal at 23 percent. The good old turbojet was rumbling along as smoothly as always and Tony’s teeth were barely clattering from the 17 buckets she’d thrown over Schenectady. Only a small stream of oil was leaking from the engine. This was the life.
I knew the engine in my ship was good for more speed than we’d ever tried. The weather was so fair, the sky so blue, the air so smooth, I couldn’t resist letting her out a little. I inched the throttle forward a notch. The regulator only hunted a trifle and everything was steady after five minutes or so. 590 mph. I pushed the throttle again. Only two nozzles clogged up. I pushed the small-slot cleaner. Open again. 640 mph. Smooth. The tailpipe was hardly buckled at all - there were still several square inches open on one side. My fingers were itching on the throttle and I pushed it again. She worked up to 690 mph, passing through the shaft critical without breaking a single window in the ship. It was getting warm in the cockpit so I gave the vertex refrigerator a little more air. Mach 0.9! I’d never been that fast before. I could see a little shocklet outside the port window so I adjusted the wing shape and it disappeared.
Tony was dozing now and I missed the smoke from his pipe. I couldn’t resist letting the ship out another notch. In ten minutes flat we leveled off at Mach .95. Back in the combustion chambers the total pressure was falling like hell. This was the life! The Karman indicator showed red but I didn’t care. Tony’s candle was still burning. I knew gamma was down but I didn’t give a damn.
I was dizzy with the thrill. Just a little more! I put my hand on the throttle but just at that moment Tony stretched and his knee struck my arm. The throttle jumped up a full ten degrees! Crash! The little ship shuddered from stem to stern and Tony and I were thrown into the panel by the terrific deceleration. We seemed to have struck a solid brick wall! I could see the nose of the ship was crushed. I looked at the Mach meter and froze. 1.00! My God, I thought in a flash, we’re on the peak! If I don’t get her slowed down before she slips over, we’ll be caught in the decreasing drag! I was too late. Mach 1.01! 1.02! 1.03! 1.04! 1.06! 1.09! 1.13! 1.18! I was desperate but Tony knew what to do. In a flash he threw the engine into reverse! Hot air rushed into the tailpipe, was compressed in the turbine, debusted in the chambers, expanded out the compressor. Kerosene began flowing into the tanks. The entropy meter swung full negative. Mach 1.20! 1.19! 1.18! 1.17! We were saved. She crept back, she inched back, as Tony and I prayed the flow divider wouldn’t stick. 1.10! 1.08! 1.05! crash! We had struck the other side of the wall! Trapped! Not enough negative thrust to break back through! As we cringed against the wall, the tail of the little ship crushed, Tony shouted “Fire the JATO units!” But they were turned the wrong way! Tony thrust his arm out and swung them forward, the Mach lines streaming from his fingers. I fired them! The shock was stunning. We blacked out.
I came too as our gallant little ship, ragged from stem to stern, was just passing through Mach zero. I pulled Tony out and we slumped to the ground. The ship decelerated off to the east. A few seconds later we heard the crash as she hit the other wall.
They never found a single screw. Tony took up basket weaving and I went to MIT. -R.H.W.
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