funny injury stories

[rich m]

Summer of 1987.
Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri. I was an Army Reserve Drill Sergeant. Had what we called "the Dream". [ 95th Division (TNG) (OSUT/INF) is a training (drill sergeants/core cadre division for Basic/AIT training and we did our "summer camps" replacing or augmenting Regular Army at Basic Training installations, such as Ft Benning,GA, Ft Sill,OK, Ft "Lost in the Woods",MO, or Ft Polk, LA (Lone Iron Man 1986 or '87)

The Dream: Pent-up stress causes each DI to have this dream at least once during his career... consists of the scenario where you finally get to strangle and shake and cuss the young trainee (usually a "composite" of several or all of your troops, rather than one specific individual)... the guy having the dream is vocal, usually sounding like, "GD it, #ad
you stupid fk! How many F-g times do I gotta tell you... . ?" and sometimes there's arm and hand motion (clasped around an imaginary neck! #ad
)

the night I finally had my rendition of "the Dream" it culminated in me sitting bolt-upright in bed... I was in the bottom bunk and creased my forehead against the upper's crossbrace... put me right back down again, and then my "round brown" hurt like hell for the next 2 days #ad

 

[dpuckett]

This happened to a friend of mine when I was still rodeoing. Justin had broken his riding hand a few weeks before- got hung up- and had a cast up past his elbow. In true cowboy spirit, he bought a left hand glove, and tried doing it left handed, as he had been on all of about 2 dozen bulls. He forged a release fromhis doctor, and entered a youth rodeo. I pulled his rope, and was right in the arena when the bull went out and started a hard right spin. He ended up going into the "well," or center of the spin. His put his fully casted right hand on the bull's head to keep from kissing him, and the fiberglass cast bounced right up and hit him on the fore head, knocking him cold in the arena for 2 minutes. Both clowns and about 4 riders, myself included, ran up to the bull, in case he tried to hook the rider, and ended up chasing the bull off.

 

[radixr]

I was laying the bricks above my living room fireplace when a fly (I think it was a Klinton supporter) started pestering me. I shooed it away several times but it kept coming back. I was checking the last course of bricks I had just laid with a 4-foot aluminum level when the fly landed on my forehead. Without thinking, I swatted the fly with my right hand and, you guessed it, I cracked my head with the level. Blood all over the place. Had a lot of trouble explaining that. #ad

 

[rich m]

Originally posted by radixr:
... a Klinton supporter ... #ad

they're everywhere!

 

[JSchooley]

I was up a tall ladder trimming a palm tree and one of the palm fronds fell next to my head. I felt my ear and came up a little red but brushed it off as a scratch and kept on cutting. Soon I felt my shirt sticking to my back. #ad
Since I wasn't sweating that much I figured I'd better check it out.

It nearly cut off my ear lobe. My biggest fear was what my wife would do if she saw me so I cleaned myself up in the garage sink before she got back with lunch.

I decided that I'd better get it sewn up, but knew it would be a long wait so I sat down and ate lunch before going to the ER. I took a cel phone with me so my wife could call if she wanted to know how I was doing.

She did call. Didn't ask how I was, wanted me to pick up some cheese on the way home. #ad
I sure looked like Frankenstien for a week or so.

 

[illflem]

. Only reason it's funny is because I wasn't hurt much. I was washing a tractor down when it suddenly started in gear due to the water shorting the ignition. The rear tire instantly caught my foot,threw me to the ground then ran over the entire length of my body. That wasn't all,as soon as the tire rolled off my head my feet were pinned under the steel roller of the flail mower behind the tractor,had to wait for the mower to run over the entire length of my body. I laid there for a few seconds wondering why I wasn't dead,then jumped up,ran after the tractor and shut it down. All that happened to me was a sprained ankle and a bunch of gravel imbedded in my ear. One side benefit of that accident is that they can't keep me in jail,I can slip right between the bars. True story except the last line.

 

[Archive]

Illflem... I was picturing your story as I read it... too funny.

I think you and Doc ought to get together and write some books!

 

[Whitmore]

illflem,the time you told me that story you said the gravel was imbedded in your rear not your ear #ad
.
One time I was crossing the river on my polaris 4x6 I had fencing supplies and my german shepard puppy in the back,well I couldnt make the bank on the other side cuz of wet tires,I tried several times and finally put it in low range and taped the throttle slightly with black tape,then got around back to push,I finally got it up there and away she went with my puppy in back so I took off after them and when I jumped on the side foot boards and grabbed the wheel I pulled on the wheel while tring to get my balance,it rolled on its side ,me and the dog were a$$ over teakettle,the pup licken on my face and havin a good time , if I could have got that on on tape it would be priceless #ad
#ad

 

['956Wheel]

Ouch Apple Guy! #ad
When I was a kid I discovered that matchheads are explosive when confined and ignited. A phord rist pin was used as a multi use firecracker. My brother and I learned that the more you compressed the matchheads the louder they got, compression was done with a drift punch. Two hits. . loud, three hits louder, four blew up and put the punch through the garage roof and into orbit, my hand, (pinky side) was imbedded with debris and numb... we learned a lot... FAST! #ad
Dad was ****** and rapidly suggested that we compress those matches in a bodily orifice! #ad


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9535hundred

 

[QRTRHRS]

This story is not funny but is rather bizarre. Seems this guy cut off a hand with a chop saw. The pain was so great that he apparently sought relief by shooting himself in the head with a nail gun. His gun, being loaded with 1. 5" nails failed him.
http://www.mcall.com/html/news/top/a_pg001a1_4handfund.htm

 

[illflem]

He should of tried to toe-nail his hand back on.