Goldilocks & the 3 Bears - New Version

[John Berger]

Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars, as big bears often do. Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? It was Mommy Bear who got up first. It was Mommy Bear who woke up first before everybody else in the house. It was Mommy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mommy Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and the wood for the fire. It was Mommy Bear who set the table. It was Mommy Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water & food dish. And now that you've decided to come down stairs and grace me with your presence, listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time ..... "I haven't made the f*@king porridge yet

 

[DAWG-1]

ROTFLMAO

 

[EMDDIESEL]

Good one!

 

[chuck3]

I like it better.

 

[Justbeamn]

Just don't let the wife catch you telling this story to your 2 year old!