At the risk of misinterpreting your question. As long as you are in there might as well replace both. The large wires carry the full current load from the battery to the grids. They can be positioned on either of the large posts just like a switch. Same goes for the small terminals. One is a constant hot, the other is a ground that is controlled by the PCM. When the intake temp sensor sends a signal to the PCM that the air is cold the PCM activates one or both of the relays, dependent on how cold it is and vehicle speed. The length of time they are activated is also dependent on how cold it is. The wait to start light on your dash is lit as long as the PCM determines the grids need to be on. It IS NOT an indicator the the grids are actually receiving power or that the PCM is supplying ground however. I bypassed the PCM and have the grounds hooked to a toggle switch. I think the grids coming on after the engine has started is annoying, especially when pulling out of the driveway while the headlights are going from bright to dim. My wait to start light still illuminates for varying periods of time. Some times I flip the toggle off when the light goes out, sometimes I never turn the grids on. If it is really cold, 20 or below, I'll cycle the switch after starting the engine if it is stumbling.
You can learn the theory of operation about the grids and nearly every other system by opening your factory service manual. If you don't have one, Genos does.