Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
A long time ago when America was being settled, a group of people headed
west in a wagon train from the east coast. The wagon train leader was very
inexperienced and soon the people realized they were hopelessly lost. After
wandering for weeks and weeks, their food supplies were gone and winter was
fast approaching. As the group came over a hill they saw the first person
they had seen for days; an old Jewish man, a Litvak yet,sitting beneath a
tree. The leader of the wagon train approached the man.
"Can you help us? We're heading west but we're lost and all our food is
gone. We're starving. "
The old man replied, "Vell you know, I can see the future... Vait. . I'm
getting a vision now. " He held one hand to his brow and closed his eyes in
concentration. "It's coming. Oh yah, I see, I see. " "I know vut you gotado.
Go up dis here hill und down other side. Go through forest und across the
stream. Den go up next hill und down to dat valley below. There you vill
find ah bacon tree. "
"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader.
"Ya, ah bacon tree. Trust me... for nuttin vud I lie. I can see the
future. "
The wagon train leader shrugged and headed off. The group followed the
strange old man's directions exactly. They went up the hill, down the
other side, through the forest, across the stream, up the next hill and down
to the valley below. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Not a damned thing and especially
not a bacon tree. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, came Indians from all
sides.
It was a massacre. All but one man was killed, even he was seriously
wounded. He crawled up the hill, crawled across the stream, crawled
through the forest, crawled up the hill and crawled down into the
valley. There, under the tree was that same old Jewish man, having a glass
of tea, right where they had left him. The injured man crawled up to him and
started shouting... ...
"What were you thinking? You sent us all to our deaths! We followed your
instructions to the letter! We went up the hill, down the other side, through the forest, across the stream, up the next hill and down the valley below.
NO BACON TREE! Just Indians, thousands of Indians! And the rest of my group? THEY'RE ALL DEAD!"
The man held up his hand and said "Oye, vait A minute, vait A minute... I'm getting anudder vision... . Oyeeee. Ooooh. NOW I get it... . G'VALT, I make ah big mistake...
It vuz not a bacon tree... It vuz a Ham Bush !"
west in a wagon train from the east coast. The wagon train leader was very
inexperienced and soon the people realized they were hopelessly lost. After
wandering for weeks and weeks, their food supplies were gone and winter was
fast approaching. As the group came over a hill they saw the first person
they had seen for days; an old Jewish man, a Litvak yet,sitting beneath a
tree. The leader of the wagon train approached the man.
"Can you help us? We're heading west but we're lost and all our food is
gone. We're starving. "
The old man replied, "Vell you know, I can see the future... Vait. . I'm
getting a vision now. " He held one hand to his brow and closed his eyes in
concentration. "It's coming. Oh yah, I see, I see. " "I know vut you gotado.
Go up dis here hill und down other side. Go through forest und across the
stream. Den go up next hill und down to dat valley below. There you vill
find ah bacon tree. "
"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader.
"Ya, ah bacon tree. Trust me... for nuttin vud I lie. I can see the
future. "
The wagon train leader shrugged and headed off. The group followed the
strange old man's directions exactly. They went up the hill, down the
other side, through the forest, across the stream, up the next hill and down
to the valley below. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Not a damned thing and especially
not a bacon tree. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, came Indians from all
sides.
It was a massacre. All but one man was killed, even he was seriously
wounded. He crawled up the hill, crawled across the stream, crawled
through the forest, crawled up the hill and crawled down into the
valley. There, under the tree was that same old Jewish man, having a glass
of tea, right where they had left him. The injured man crawled up to him and
started shouting... ...
"What were you thinking? You sent us all to our deaths! We followed your
instructions to the letter! We went up the hill, down the other side, through the forest, across the stream, up the next hill and down the valley below.
NO BACON TREE! Just Indians, thousands of Indians! And the rest of my group? THEY'RE ALL DEAD!"
The man held up his hand and said "Oye, vait A minute, vait A minute... I'm getting anudder vision... . Oyeeee. Ooooh. NOW I get it... . G'VALT, I make ah big mistake...
It vuz not a bacon tree... It vuz a Ham Bush !"
