Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

[TPCDrafting]

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University

of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so

"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.



Bonus Question:



Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?



Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?



If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year

that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct. . . leaving

only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains

why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God. "



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

 

[bighammer]

That kid's gona go far. (farther than last night even )

 

[fest3er]

... Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? ...

Tim,



Whilst the student's logic was sound, his involvement with sins of the flesh clouded his judgement at the last. Had he slept alone, he would have concluded that Hell is expanding at a rate slower than the arrival of souls. Eventually, all Hell *will* break loose, and a new universe will be born. This clearly proves the Big Bang Theory. Souls are leaving our universe faster than it can contract. Thus global warming is of no consequence. It is merely a local phenomenon; in due time, our universe will be devoid of all matter and energy and will collapse to nothing. At this point, it will begin to receive souls from another universe and become Hell until, once again, all Hell breaks loose.



Like many systems we encounter, the polyverse has achieved 'steady-state'. There are always universes where all Hell is breaking loose, and others that lose souls more rapidly than they can contract. And the process continually repeats.



There. I have proven the Big Bang Theory and debunked Creationism, uncovered the origins of our universe, accurately predicted its demise, and, once and for all, thoroughly debunked the Global Warming Theory. I have also correctly extended the theory and origins of our own universe to all the others in the polyverse. Finally, I have proven that there cannot be a universal Deity.



However, the existence of a polyversal deity is still open for discussion.



N

 

[AfterBurner]

:-laf :-laf :-laf

 

[TPCDrafting]

Tim,



Whilst the student's logic was sound, his involvement with sins of the flesh clouded his judgement at the last. Had he slept alone, he would have concluded that Hell is expanding at a rate slower than the arrival of souls. Eventually, all Hell *will* break loose, and a new universe will be born. This clearly proves the Big Bang Theory. Souls are leaving our universe faster than it can contract. Thus global warming is of no consequence. It is merely a local phenomenon; in due time, our universe will be devoid of all matter and energy and will collapse to nothing. At this point, it will begin to receive souls from another universe and become Hell until, once again, all Hell breaks loose.



Like many systems we encounter, the polyverse has achieved 'steady-state'. There are always universes where all Hell is breaking loose, and others that lose souls more rapidly than they can contract. And the process continually repeats.



There. I have proven the Big Bang Theory and debunked Creationism, uncovered the origins of our universe, accurately predicted its demise, and, once and for all, thoroughly debunked the Global Warming Theory. I have also correctly extended the theory and origins of our own universe to all the others in the polyverse. Finally, I have proven that there cannot be a universal Deity.



However, the existence of a polyversal deity is still open for discussion.



N

uhhh, OK

 

[Morphious]

Leave it to fest to take a break from his stalking exploits to expound on us his philosophical finesse.



Morph.

 

[nickleinonen]

:-laf:-laf:-laf

 

[JLEONARD]

That's a funny story... I'm glad it's comming back around again after a 2 year absence.

Jay