joke of the day

[redneckdr]

couldn't find the joke of the day thread--bear with me whilst i start a new one... ... ...

IF the USA is successful in its military effort in Afghanistan, and eliminates the Taliban, does that make us TaliWhackers???

 

[Adam_Dodgezilla]

Funny

I laughed very hard at this... read all the way to the bottom... I don't

know who David is, but his response is hilarious!!!



Ya know... some people look for things like this... and it amazes me. At

first I rolled my eyes... then I read Dave's response and I couldn't

have said it better if I had all day to do it.





ORIGINAL LETTER:



The date of the attack: 9/11 - 9 + 1 + 1 = 11

September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11

After September 11th there are 111 days left to the end of the year

119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 = 11

Twin Towers - standing side by side, looks like the number 11

The first plane to hit the towers was Flight 11



I Have More...



State of New York - The 11th State added to the Union

New York City - 11 Letters

Afghanistan - 11 Letters

The Pentagon - 11 Letters

Ramzi Yousef - 11 Letters (convicted or orchestrating the attack on the

WTC

in 1993)

Flight 11 - 92 on board - 9 + 2 = 11

Flight 77 - 65 on board - 6 + 5 = 11





DAVE'S RESPONSE:



Oh my God! How worried should I be? There are 11 letters in the name

"David

Pawson!" I'm going into hiding NOW. See you in a few weeks.



Wait a sec... just realized "YOU CAN'T HIDE" also has 11 letters! What

am I gonna do? Help me!!! The terrorists are after me! ME! I can't believe

it!

Oh crap, there must be someplace on the planet Earth I could hide! But

no... PLANET EARTH" has 11 letters, too!



Maybe Nostradamus can help me. But dare I trust him? There are 11

letters in "NOSTRADAMUS. " I know, the Red Cross can help. No they can't... 11

letters in "THE RED CROSS," can't trust them. I would rely on self

defense, but "SELF DEFENSE" has 11 letters in it, too! Can someone help?



Anyone? If so, send me email. No, don't... "SEND ME EMAIL" has 11

letters...



Will this never end? I'm going insane! "GOING INSANE???" Eleven

letters!!



Nooooooooooo!!!!!! I guess I'll die alone, even though "I'LL DIE ALONE"

has

11 letters...



Oh my God, I just realized that America is doomed! Our Independence Day

is

July 4th ... 7/4 ... 7+4=11!



Dave



PS. "IT'S BULLSH!T" has 11 letters also.

 

[MCummings]

Adam once again shines through with an intrugueing (sp?) joke.





Taliwhacker ?? AHHH another 11 letter word!!!



Is there any sanity!?!?



MerrickNJr

 

[chuck3]

Really funny, oh no 11 letters, where does it end? LMAO.

 

[redneckdr]

THAT'S INSANE!! oh no 11 again... ... ... ... . I'M GONNA QUIT... ...

... ... I DON'T BELIEVE IT, 11 AGAIN!!!

 

[chuck3]

This is getting outa hand.

6+5=11, 3+8=11 , 7+4=11 and so on and so on. hehehe.

 

[redneckdr]

I SURRRENDER... ... ... . (i know, i had to stretch for that one!!!!!)hehehe

 

[klenger]

12 - 1 = 11, ...

 

[Happy Camper]

Joke of the next day

It seems a man in Topeka, Kansas decides to write a book about churches

around the country. He starts by flying to the East Coast and working west

from there



He goes to a very large church and begins taking pictures, etc. He spots a

golden telephone on a wall and is intrigued with a sign, which reads

"$10,000. 00 a minute. " Seeking out the pastor, he asks about the phone and

the sign. The pastor answers that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct

line to Heaven, and if one pays the price, he can talk directly to God. He

thanks the pastor and continues on his way.



As he continues to visit churches in Denver, Boise, Milwaukee, Chicago, New

York, Atlanta, and on around the United States, he finds more phones with the

same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.



Finally, he arrives in the Pacific Northwest. Upon entering a church, lo and

behold, he sees the usual golden telephone. But THIS time the sign reads

"Calls: 25 cents. " Fascinated, he asks to talk to the pastor.



"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I

found this golden telephone, and I have been told it is a direct line to

Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was

$10,000. 00 a minute. Your sign reads 25 cents a call. Why?"



The pastor, smiling benignly, replies, "Son, you're in the Pacific Northwest

now. It's a local call. "



SORRY BROTHERS, I COULD NOT RESIST!!

 

[Adam_Dodgezilla]

Funny

Doctor Bob had slept with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day

long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in

while he'd hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him:

"Bob, don't worry about it. "

"You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients and you won't be the last. "

"And you're single. Let it go... "

But invariably the other voice would bring him back

to reality...





"Bob... you're a vet ... "