Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
Stole it from Mustangworld but I laughed
You live in California when ...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
6. Someone asks you how far away something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
7. People wear thongs/flip-flops to fancy restaurants and museums.
You live in New York when . .
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature. "
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You live in Alaska when . . .
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. .
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.
You live in the Deep South when . . .
1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
2. "Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
4. . "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names.
You live in Colorado when . . .
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at
the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You live in Wisconsin when . . .
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
You live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind-even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
Things Texans Know About Texas
>
> 1. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
>
> 2. Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"
>
> 3. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
>
> 4. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a
> couple no one's seen before
>
> 5. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
>
> 6. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
>
> 7. There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their
> house.
>
> 8. You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
>
> 9. A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
>
> 10. Texas has 5 seasons: Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
> Summer, April16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
> Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
> Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
> Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
> Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15.
>
> The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops totally
> until Oct 2.
>
> 11. Onced and Twiced are words.
>
> 12. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
>
> 13. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
>
> 14. Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
>
> 15. Coldbeer is one word.
>
> 16. People actually grow and eat okra.
>
> 17. Texans really don't have an accent.
>
> 18. When the world ends, only ****roaches and mesquite trees will
> survive.
>
> 19. Green grass DOES burn.
>
> 20. When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City
> people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
>
> 21. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
> couple of weeks.
>
> 22. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go
> to the doctor.
>
> 23. Fixinto is one word.
>
> 24. A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
>
> 25. The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's
> supper.
>
> 26. Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
> you're 2.
>
> 27. Backards and forards means I know everything about you.
>
> 28. 'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
>
> 29. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
> is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You live in California when ...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
6. Someone asks you how far away something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
7. People wear thongs/flip-flops to fancy restaurants and museums.
You live in New York when . .
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. You think Central Park is "nature. "
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You live in Alaska when . . .
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas. .
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
construction.
You live in the Deep South when . . .
1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
2. "Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
4. . "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names.
You live in Colorado when . . .
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at
the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You live in Wisconsin when . . .
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
You live in Florida when...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind-even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
Things Texans Know About Texas
>
> 1. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
>
> 2. Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep"
>
> 3. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
>
> 4. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a
> couple no one's seen before
>
> 5. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
>
> 6. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
>
> 7. There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their
> house.
>
> 8. You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
>
> 9. A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
>
> 10. Texas has 5 seasons: Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
> Summer, April16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
> Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
> Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
> Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
> Winter Dec. 2 to Feb 15.
>
> The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops totally
> until Oct 2.
>
> 11. Onced and Twiced are words.
>
> 12. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
>
> 13. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
>
> 14. Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
>
> 15. Coldbeer is one word.
>
> 16. People actually grow and eat okra.
>
> 17. Texans really don't have an accent.
>
> 18. When the world ends, only ****roaches and mesquite trees will
> survive.
>
> 19. Green grass DOES burn.
>
> 20. When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. City
> people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
>
> 21. The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first
> couple of weeks.
>
> 22. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go
> to the doctor.
>
> 23. Fixinto is one word.
>
> 24. A tank is a dirt hole in the ground that holds water for irrigation.
>
> 25. The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's
> supper.
>
> 26. Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
> you're 2.
>
> 27. Backards and forards means I know everything about you.
>
> 28. 'Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
>
> 29. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
> is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
