Attention: TDR Forum Junkies --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------GENERAL----------------------------
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always indentify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It is concidered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you are certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive a U-haul to the funeral home.
-------------------DINING OUT-----------------------------
1. When decanting wine from the box, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands
3. when passing gas, say "excuse me" rather than "OH BOY, that's gonna leave a stain".
--------------INTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME-----------------
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. If your dates teeth fall out for whatever reason, do not grin and flip her a quarter.
3. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no mater how good his manners are.
--------------------PERSONAL HYGIENE---------------------
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private, using ones OWN truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.
3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detrack from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
------------------DATING (outside the family)---------------
1. Always offer to bait your dates hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago".
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 pm. Others might say "Monday". If the later is the answer, it is the mans responsibility to get her to the junior high on time for her first class.
4. always clean the gun rack and all rifles, shotguns prior to picking up your date. Just to show you care.
------------------THEATER ETIQUETTE----------------------
1. Crying babys should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
4. When passing gas, do not jump up and yell "yo baby, that was a goooood one" even if it was your date.
------------------DRIVING ETIQUETTE----------------------
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, evenif the gun is loaded and the deer is in site.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
3. If you make an error in judgement while driving and are about to be in an accident, say "I'm sorry" or something in that area rather than "hold my beer and watch this".
4. Never tow a car using panyhose and duct tape.
5. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
-----------------------GENERAL----------------------------
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always indentify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It is concidered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you are certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive a U-haul to the funeral home.
-------------------DINING OUT-----------------------------
1. When decanting wine from the box, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands
3. when passing gas, say "excuse me" rather than "OH BOY, that's gonna leave a stain".
--------------INTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME-----------------
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. If your dates teeth fall out for whatever reason, do not grin and flip her a quarter.
3. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no mater how good his manners are.
--------------------PERSONAL HYGIENE---------------------
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private, using ones OWN truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.
3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detrack from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
------------------DATING (outside the family)---------------
1. Always offer to bait your dates hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago".
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 pm. Others might say "Monday". If the later is the answer, it is the mans responsibility to get her to the junior high on time for her first class.
4. always clean the gun rack and all rifles, shotguns prior to picking up your date. Just to show you care.
------------------THEATER ETIQUETTE----------------------
1. Crying babys should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
4. When passing gas, do not jump up and yell "yo baby, that was a goooood one" even if it was your date.
------------------DRIVING ETIQUETTE----------------------
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, evenif the gun is loaded and the deer is in site.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
3. If you make an error in judgement while driving and are about to be in an accident, say "I'm sorry" or something in that area rather than "hold my beer and watch this".
4. Never tow a car using panyhose and duct tape.
5. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
