Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
THE DAM STORY
You gotta love the Government! This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious,
but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor
who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of
two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must
be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's
files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams,
of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324. 30101 to 324. 30113 of the Michigan Compiled
Laws, annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the
dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous
and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and
desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition
by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel.
All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998. Please
notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site
inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or
any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred
for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full
cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative, Land and Water Management Division
Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: **
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to.
I am the legal landowner but not the contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,
Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and
maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think
they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of nature's building
materials "debris. " I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate
their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely
state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination
and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware
that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my
Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to
conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these
particular beavers through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed
copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.
Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,
Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324. 30101to 324. 30113 of the
Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns. My first concern is;
aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation-so the State will
have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that
either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding,
is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.
In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond beavers alone rather than harassing
them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow
condition please contact the beavers-but if you are going to arrest them, they
obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read
English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows
downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.
If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to
its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment
(Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can
be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/1998?
The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way
for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to
bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area.
It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you
are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not
careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being
unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
your dam office.
THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES &THE DAM BEAVERS
:-laf
You gotta love the Government! This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy's response is hilarious,
but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that
there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor
who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of
two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must
be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's
files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams,
of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324. 30101 to 324. 30113 of the Michigan Compiled
Laws, annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the
dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous
and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and
desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition
by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel.
All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998. Please
notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site
inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or
any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred
for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full
cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative, Land and Water Management Division
Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries: **
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to.
I am the legal landowner but not the contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson,
Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and
maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think
they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of nature's building
materials "debris. " I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate
their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely
state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination
and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware
that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my
Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to
conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these
particular beavers through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed
copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.
Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act,
Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324. 30101to 324. 30113 of the
Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated. I have several concerns. My first concern is;
aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation-so the State will
have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that
either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding,
is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.
In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond beavers alone rather than harassing
them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow
condition please contact the beavers-but if you are going to arrest them, they
obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read
English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows
downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.
If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to
its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment
(Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can
be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/1998?
The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way
for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to
bring to your attention to a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area.
It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you
are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not
careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being
unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to
your dam office.
THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES &THE DAM BEAVERS
:-laf
