Head to the airport. I know they have birds that need to be eliminated.
Hey, nobody died, so the joke's not really in poor taste.
Does anyone make silicone training birds (feathered silicone bodies)? Launch it with your skeet launcher, fire a blank and send the dog after it.
If it's cousin to a flushing dog (but definitely not a Mamaronek) you could build a remote-controlled, spring-loaded launcher. When the dog's close enough, launch the dummy, fire a blank and send the dog after the 'carcass'.
Of course, these methods could have their drawbacks. Like if you fire at a real bird and you miss, the dog could take off after the bird. It could be miles before the bird and dog stop.
OK, so I don't know anything about birding. At least you should've gotten a chuckle and should feel less retarded now.
