Attention: TDR Forum Junkies I just thought a little humor is in order. Oh, how many times I wish we really had one of these. Dave
POLICE DEPARTMENT ANSWERING MACHINE...
Hello, you have reached the Police Department Voice Mail. Pay close
attention as we have to update the choices often as new and unusual
circumstances arise. Please select one of the following options:
To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created
for yourself, press 1.
To postulate whether someone has to die before we'll do something about
a problem, press 2.
To report an officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is
trying to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3.
If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.
If you would like us to take control of your life due to your alcohol
or chemical dependency, press 5.
If you would like us to instantly restore order (without hurting or
angering anyone) to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6.
To provide a list of police officers you know personally so that we
will not take enforcement action against you, press 7.
To sue us, tell us you'll have our badge and that you pay our salary,
or to proclaim that our career is over, press 8.
To whine about a ticket and/or explain how much better the department
could be run if you were in charge, or complain about the many other
things that police ought to be doing other than keeping your dumb ass
from killing someone, press 9.
Please note, your call may be monitored to assure proper customer
support and remember, we're here to save your ass - not kiss it.
Thanks for calling your local police department and have a nice day.
POLICE DEPARTMENT ANSWERING MACHINE...
Hello, you have reached the Police Department Voice Mail. Pay close
attention as we have to update the choices often as new and unusual
circumstances arise. Please select one of the following options:
To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created
for yourself, press 1.
To postulate whether someone has to die before we'll do something about
a problem, press 2.
To report an officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is
trying to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3.
If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.
If you would like us to take control of your life due to your alcohol
or chemical dependency, press 5.
If you would like us to instantly restore order (without hurting or
angering anyone) to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6.
To provide a list of police officers you know personally so that we
will not take enforcement action against you, press 7.
To sue us, tell us you'll have our badge and that you pay our salary,
or to proclaim that our career is over, press 8.
To whine about a ticket and/or explain how much better the department
could be run if you were in charge, or complain about the many other
things that police ought to be doing other than keeping your dumb ass
from killing someone, press 9.
Please note, your call may be monitored to assure proper customer
support and remember, we're here to save your ass - not kiss it.
Thanks for calling your local police department and have a nice day.
