Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
TO: Federal Aviation Administration
Our airline industry is in real trouble, and it's time to
start fixing this before it's too late. To that end, here
are some modest suggestions:
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the
first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking
strippers! What the hell -- the attendants have gotten old
and haggard-looking. They don't even serve food anymore, so
what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the
alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the
cabin. And, of course, every heterosexual businessman in
this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked
women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants
wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I
suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women
for working and have them kick back 20% of the tips.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of
seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching
halt and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right
-- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why the hell didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have
to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Our airline industry is in real trouble, and it's time to
start fixing this before it's too late. To that end, here
are some modest suggestions:
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the
first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking
strippers! What the hell -- the attendants have gotten old
and haggard-looking. They don't even serve food anymore, so
what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the
alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the
cabin. And, of course, every heterosexual businessman in
this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked
women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants
wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I
suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women
for working and have them kick back 20% of the tips.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of
seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching
halt and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right
-- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
Why the hell didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have
to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
