Shop horror stories

[JApol]

I was working at a contruction rental place when I was in high school. The chainsaw mech had just got done working on one that was giving him problem ans he let me test it. He put the clutch on but not the nut. Diddn't have the bar or chain either. I was running the snot out of this thing and looked over at the clutch, it looked it was being held on by maybe a tread or two, I tilted it away from my face just as it came off. It hit the ground and just sat there on edge spinning for about 2 seconds then took off like a bat out hell. Shot across a 4 lane hiway, got about 4 feet of air off two separate speed bumps and lost it after it lasded afte the second one but i bet it went all the way down that parking lot the way it was moving. This parking lot was about as wide as a k-mart or walmart.

 

[Champane Flight]

Good one from the neighbor

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted airplane part you were drying.



WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch... . "



ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.



PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.



HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.



VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.



OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.



WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.



HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new disk brake pads, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.



EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering an automobile upward off a hydraulic jack handle.



TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.



PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.



SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog**** off your boot.



E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps off in bolt holes you couldn’t use anyway.



TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the tensile strength on everything you forgot to disconnect.



CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large prybar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.



AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.



TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, it's main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.



PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.



AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last over tightened 58 years ago by someone at ERCO, and neatly rounds off their heads.



PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50¢ part.



HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses too short.



HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.



MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts.



EXPLETIVE: A balm, usually applied verbally in hindsight, which somehow eases those pains and indignities following our every deficiency in foresight. :-laf

 

[DieselTweaker]

LOL,,,,,,



any good cleaners to remove pop from a computer screen

 

[Matt400]

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

I hate it when that happens! :-laf :-laf

 

[swankmetal]

LOL,,,,,,



any good cleaners to remove pop from a computer screen

how about half a can of copenhagen?

 

[JCutter]

Re: Jack Stands

Cannot tell you enough JACK STANDS !!!



I was working on a suzuki samurai doing a shackle reversal. I had it all done except welding the front perches. I had the front lifted by the bumper like so many have done before . The jack stands were about 10 ft away, never gave them any thought I thought the axel was just rolling back like it did once before but it wasnt and this is what happened.

 

[JCutter]

That was sept of 02 and i still have a little swelling that hasnt went down. So if you ever meet me and i give you the thumbs up and flip you off at the same time, dont pay any attention. Im really giving you just the thumbs up.

 

[Matt400]

Major Ouch!!

 

[Tom Trujillo]

I showed your finger to my wife and her comment was that men are stupid. My comment to her is that most of us could care less whats on the floor for flooring. We "are" stupid for trying to figure out ways to get all those honey-do jobs done. Tom

 

[catoiler]

When welding always remove any aersol cans from the area!A guy at work was welding and their was a can of penatrating oil to his left and a cherry landed on it and blew the can apart and peeled a few layers of skin off him!

 

[mjendrejcak]

Tack welding some new expended metal on my friends landscape trailer gate. We were sort clamps so standing on it to keep it in place. no problem until I had to change the rod.





Remote starter switches + manual trannies left in gear = sheetrock damage.

Reproduced by my friend a few weeks later. big block chevy+in gear+5. 89 rears+stock tires=drivethru shed.



When removing driveshafts on hill be sure the e brake is at the wheels not transfer case. If e brake is on transfer case besure your body on the creeper is lower than rear axle. If your body is not lower than rear axle be sure to have to have cell phone on you to call wrecker. Also cash on hand to buy video tape from neighbor helps.



I learned at a fair earlier age that plugging the 110v weed eater into 220v outlet does not give twice the power only twice the shock.

 

[RT66DOC]

When accidentally knocking over oxygen tank always make sure to clear area of projected fall in order for regulators to clear edges of steel welding tables which may shear off regulator/gauge assembly thereby launching green torpedo through concrete block wall and across shop floor. Always keep Baby Wipes handy for unsuspecting co-workers to clean up.



Ya, it was safety chained to a cart and the acetylene went over too - just wasn't quite as spectacular with only 150 lbs or so behind it. O2 was a fresh tank. :-laf

 

[swankmetal]

O M G!!!!!!!!



i have always wanted to do that, but in a slightly more controlled situation!



dave

 

[RT66DOC]

In retrospect it's pretty neat but nobody thought it was very funny at the time - except me, what with being the launch control officer and all.

 

[swankmetal]

things not to do, or why only professionals should use power tools (we have workmans comp)

 

[Ncostello]

When you get tired late at night... quit and go inside. I didn't and was trying to use a pair of large channel-locks as a hammer. I missed and my right index finger became the point of impact. It basically cut it all the way through and took out a 1cm section of bone. So half my finger was hanging there by the skin. If felt like it was on fire. I drove myself to the hospital and got it fixed. Was wrapped up for 6 weeks and had a pin through it. Still ain't right.



Also... when its cold... don't heat up gallon paint cans with torches. While the paint does become more workable... it also causes a huge increases in the can's internal pressure. Then once the lid pops off... all the vapors instantly ignite and create a flash explosion which makes you think you just died.



And to boot... I did this inside my volunteer fire station. It took me a second to catch my breath. I did one of those cartoon things... where you feel your arms, legs and head to make sure its still there.

 

[JApol]

I was in shop class in high school. I put a tack weld on the 2 pieces of metal. I noticed that in the process of doing it I moved the piece of metal a bit. So, I just flipped the nadle around and held it between my thumb and the side of my hand. It slipped and the end of the stick touched the back of my other hand. It took me a second to try and figure out why my arm was wrapped around behind me till i saw the little burn mark on it.

 

[Island Dodge]

"Also... when its cold... don't heat up gallon paint cans with torches.



And to boot... I did this inside my volunteer fire station. "



LOL. . too funny... I was a volunteer fireman when i did my involuntary "contact cement fumes" stunt.



Our Safety training officer had to call 911 for a chimney fire at his place, :-laf :-laf he hadn't cleaned his chimney "Huh, what shall I talk about next week at training"

 

[AfterBurner]

not trying to hijack the thread but...

After a two week campaign of developing and notifying the public about our system on reporting controlled burns, to prevent false alarms- we roll on a ranch fire only to discover that it was our fire captain doing a controlled burn :-laf :-laf .

 

[Mhannink]

well this may not be as scary to some but ive got a couple the first is when my cuz and i where working on his 1969 ford 250 reg cab 2x4 we had just go the transmission back from the trany shop and the engine was already rebuilt and we where putting the 2 togther outside the engine bay since i figured it would be easir well while we are sucking up the engine and transmission together i hear this lol bang/crack and then i hear a string a swear words and a wrench being thrown as my cuz walks off i look and the transmission housing is broke right at one of the bolt holes it was pretty scary hearing the crack of that thing right next to ur ear since i had my head almost level on the other side starting to torgue down when it happened the secong story is after we got the new trans housing we get it all togther and in the truck and evrything hooked up and the ingnition setup was rather unique casue we had a switch that killed power to the 6al box on the the radiator mounting wall w/o that the truck wouldn;t run then we had a switch in the cab that turned on the igntion system after that u hit another switch which brought power to the starter button hit the button and crank it well somewhere in all this i who did the wiring job must have hooked something so it crossed or something but when we hit the starter button and it didn't happen every time but we had it happen a few the first one scared us tho cuz it kept cranking even after we had let off the button killed the switches everything finaly we pulled the wires and it shut of but it got our hearts racing and in about what seemed like 5 seconds we had practicaly run around the whole truck pulling wires to finaly shut it off but it was the scariest thing at the time