Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
B.G. Smith
TDR MEMBER
> >
> >Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
> >conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them but "PITCH" them.
> >
> >
> >Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip
> >greens, peas, beans, etc. , make up "a mess. "
> >
> >Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general
> >direction of "yonder. "
> >
> >Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as
> >in, "Going to town, be back directly. "
> >
> >Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request
> >for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
> >on the middle of the table.
> >
> >All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not
> >use the term, but they know the concept well.
> >
> >Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of
> >solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken
> >and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real
> >crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)
> >
> >Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right
> >near" and "a right far piece. " They also know that "just down the road"
> >can be 1 mile or 20.
> >
> >Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference
> >between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> >
> >No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
> >turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
> >
> >A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or
> >an adverb.
> >
> >Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We
> >don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to
> >everybody!
> >
> >Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover
> >they are related, even if only by marriage.
> >
> >True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all. "
> >
> >True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
> >
> >Every true Southerner knows that eating tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
> >grits, and coffee is perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also
> >a breakfast food and that fried green tomatoes are not.
> >
> >When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'... ," you
> >know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> >
> >Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk. " Sweet tea
> >indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea
> >unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> >
> >Only true Southerners ask for "light bread. " That means you don't
> >want cornbread or biscuits.
> >
> >And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
> >ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart"
> >and go your own way!
> >>
> >Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
> >conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them but "PITCH" them.
> >
> >
> >Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip
> >greens, peas, beans, etc. , make up "a mess. "
> >
> >Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general
> >direction of "yonder. "
> >
> >Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as
> >in, "Going to town, be back directly. "
> >
> >Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request
> >for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
> >on the middle of the table.
> >
> >All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not
> >use the term, but they know the concept well.
> >
> >Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of
> >solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken
> >and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real
> >crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)
> >
> >Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right
> >near" and "a right far piece. " They also know that "just down the road"
> >can be 1 mile or 20.
> >
> >Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference
> >between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
> >
> >No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
> >turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
> >
> >A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or
> >an adverb.
> >
> >Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We
> >don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to
> >everybody!
> >
> >Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover
> >they are related, even if only by marriage.
> >
> >True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all. "
> >
> >True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
> >
> >Every true Southerner knows that eating tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
> >grits, and coffee is perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also
> >a breakfast food and that fried green tomatoes are not.
> >
> >When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'... ," you
> >know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
> >
> >Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk. " Sweet tea
> >indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea
> >unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
> >
> >Only true Southerners ask for "light bread. " That means you don't
> >want cornbread or biscuits.
> >
> >And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
> >ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart"
> >and go your own way!
> >>
"
