Stupid Human Tricks -or- "how'ed I get myselft into this mess!"

[FATCAT]

This morning my wife locked herself out of the house on which the keyring contained the car keys as well. What follows is her story of the events that unfolded this morning and how she retrieved the keys.



Scene: We have a swinging cat door in our basement window

which is located under our deck.

Characters: Fat Boy = our fat lazy cat

Cheryl = next door neighbor

Kristin = wife's boss

Rylan = little kid our neighbor babesits for.



"I tell you, I'm just a menace to myself lately. OK here goes.



Went out of the house w/ keys, knapsack, violin and locked door. Realized I left fat boy in airconditioned bedroom. Went back in and pants I'm wearing today have no pockets so tossed keys on kitchen table. Got fat boy out of bedroom and went out door. In the nano-second before the door clicked, I realized I left keys inside. Went over to Cheryl's. Called Kristin and left message (who later told me she was howling when she got message. She's locked herself out a couple times before - once in her nightgown). Went back over to house to figure out how to get in. Most windows were shut down but the one in downstairs bathroom still open. Took kayaks off sawhorses (kayaks stored outside), and stood on that and tried to jimmy open the screen but it has both clips so wasn't budging. Stood there in the blazing sun thinking of other options. Cat window was only other way (other than calling locksmith). Went back over to Cheryl's and got some tools to remove lattice from deck. Am dressed in nice pants and shirt so figured I would just take them off (so don't ruin them) and crawl under the deck and through window in my underwear. Then had visions of getting stuck in the window in my underwear and the fire dept having to come rescue me. So asked Cheryl to borrow old t-shirt. (Rylan asked what I needed the tools for so I told him I had to fix my door). Told Cheryl if I didn't call in 1/2 hour to come over and check on me. Back at house, I took off clothes and put on t-shirt and proceeded to unscrew lattice work. Got that off and crawled under deck to window. Dirty and sweating like a pig at this point. Sat there for a moment contemplating if I'd fit (the opening looked very small) and eyeing all the spiders and cobwebs (eeeeuuuu!) and deciding if I should go feet first or head first. Decided head first as could close my eyes and not have to look at all those spiders. So in I went. T-shirt caught on something but managed to get it loose with out ripping it. I inched down the kitty ramp on my stomach. Gave Cheryl a call to let her know OK and jumped into shower. I have a few scratches, but otherwise OK. Measured the window - only about 13"x11. " (See being skinny has some advantages). Returned tools to Cheryl and Rylan asked if I had fixed my door. Got to work and told Kristin the ordeal, which we both were laughing hysterically over. "



So, any of you mugs got a "locked out" story that can top this one!!

 

[jlccc]

I can top it

When I was a kid (back when the $6M Man was an active series) my dad sent me outside to lock up the truck. I was in the middle of watching one of the episodes with "Bigfoot and the space people" so I was a little nervous about going outside that night. Anyway, in my rush to get back into the house, I locked the truck door and slammed it shut---ON MY FINGERS! With the door locked my only choice was to howl and scream until my dad came out to free me. I watched the rest of the show with my fingers in a bowl of ice water.

 

[Whitmore]

jlcc

your killin me man :{ that musta hurt bad :{ it also musta hurt the pride :{

 

[TPCDrafting]

This one time at band camp... .

 

[jlccc]

Re: jlcc

Originally posted by Whitmore

your killin me man :{ that musta hurt bad :{ it also musta hurt the pride :{

It was the mid-70's. How much pride can a 9-yr-old have?

 

[Scot]

True story:

Sunday afternoon at the fire station, early to mid '90's. Everyone is sitting around half asleep watching TV. A teen age girl walks into the station and explains the problem. One of the characters has flourescent green hair and the other has flourescent red hair. It seems that they locked themselves out of the house and the decision was made that the easiest route of entry was down the chimney! Hey Santa Clause can do it, why not her? At ths point we notice the suet on her. She asks if we could get her friend out without bringing any fire equipment.



We check enroute with an engine, 100' quint and a battalion chief. We set up the 100' ladder and see the girl standing on the little ledge/offset thingy just above the actual fireplace, with suet all over her. Her arms were up over her head and surprisingly still had enough strength to grab the rope and hold on enough to be pulled out. This was a relief to me as it would have been me hanging by my feet going in after her.



By now the crowd has began to assemble quite nicely. As we were checking her for injuries, she asked if she was going to have to pay for this. I replied that she would more than likely be paying for this stunt for the rest of her life!

 

[Whitmore]

good one Scot

We had a similar one, they paged us (officers only) seams a dog chased a ball that had bounced into the center hole of a wheel that was leaning up against a fence, he put his head in and couldnt get it out :{ it was one of those long dogs with alot of hide, anyway a little vasilene and worked his ears out first then we got his head out, it was a 15 minute workout , I dont know how his head fit in the first place :-laf :-laf :-laf Kevin

 

[lschultz]

Let me think how old my son is?23 or is it 24. Anyway the wife was pregnat. She was at home I at work. She called she had been heaving in the commode(them things women do when there pregnat. Hugging the commode out comes her two front teeth (Back when she was younger she fell down and knocked her two big front teeth out and had them there fake ones in) so she finishes heaving and flushes commode. Oops she forget to get her teeth out. All she had to do was stick her hands down in all that puke and get the teeth but she flushes and there the teeth go down the sewer line. So she calls me up crying and:-{} It was hard to understand what she was saying So I had to leave work and take her to the dentist to get new teeth madeOo. It just amazes me:--) what happens to these women when there hormones,chemestry or whatever you call it,will do.