TDR Episode One (Members Saga .... You could be next!)

[ToolManTimTaylor]

<EMBED SRC="http://www.frazmtn.com/~punstr/midi/swtheme. mid" width="0" height="" AUTOSTART="TRUE" ALIGN="center"></EMBED>

TDR Episode One#ad




Rules: A member can only post when their name is in BOLD at the end of the previous segment. A member cannot go in a "Loop" back to back within 5 turns! (This makes it fair and avoids "Postwhoring") If a member is up and no activity is seen Please Notify Him/Her via P. M so the Saga can continue.

<hr>



Once upon a time Far ... ... . Far ... ... ... . Really far ... ... So far away only the internet exsists. There was the planet TdRlon and on this planet a fierce battle arose between Tlonites and Machine. The year is 2002 and the Tlonites anticipate the return of a far more advanced machine. A machine with a powerplant that shall yet again befuzzle members on their ever quest to find more power. Power to defeat every other Tlonite's Machine. However there is a greater battle that goes underlying even this great struggle ..... yes ... ... and that's where the story begins... ... ... ...



<hr>

<hr>

<hr>

<hr>



Ahh 'Morning kids ... . Hi Dad! So what's going on today? Welll I wan... ... . Billy shhh. O. k What's going on? Sorry Dad I ... . I m ... . Mean uhh we were going for a bike ride over to Mr Tinker's house to get his cousin who is in town and we wanted to go and play games at the mall. Oh yeah which mall ? T... the one uhh over by the Truck graveyard ..... *SLAM!* Billy! How many times did I say that I did not want you kids in that part of town! Okay Okay okaayy dad we won't we will just hang out at TqT's Place and suck the kitty up in the Vaccuum a couple times that's all. Allright beat it ... . and call me later! Okay Byyee. Ahh lets see whats on T. V *Click Bfft* Hmm thats odd doc fixed this T. V last week ?? Oh well might as well bolt up that Hx40 and test her out. (Hour later) *Clang dingle lang!* Dang wrench allways falls in the framerail. Well guess the magnet worked! *Bzzzzt Crankankank Akcarugh gang yang yang yang* Hmm maybee I'l take her out for a spin. (Half hour later) Man what's going on off in the distance The sky looks Blacker than spades and is spinning. I'd better Shoot over to Torque This's place and check up on the kids.

 

[TORQUE THIS]

As TMTT rounds the corner to TqT's place, the cloud is even darker and thicker. As he pulls up to the house, there is TqT with his head under the hood, trying to pry the plastic bag off the BHAF that was accidently left on. TMTT says, where's the kids, TqT says, I thought they were over at your house. Oh Damn!!!! I 'll bet they went to the truck graveyard. TMTT and TqT, hop in the big white jerk mobile and head over to the forbidden abiss known as the truck graveyard. TMTT, I hope the kids aren't playing with those Duramax or Powerstroke trucks, you know what they can do to a young child's mind. Tqt, that's not what I am worried about, it's the freak that lives there! TMTT, maybe we should call for more back-up before we get there. Let's call HoleShotHoleset

 

[HoleshotHolset]

So there I was... . strapped into the Green Machine... . those behind me were hoping and praying that the twin turbos would produce some boost to cut down on the soot a little... . As soon as I pulled into the junkyard I realized that I was in the right place... .



The entire driveway was paved using Duramax cylinder heads as if they were cobblestones... . it was then that I overheard Billy and TMTT arguing... .



"Billy, put down that Edge-EZ... if your mother catches you playing with that thing again... . she insist that you'll end up with hairy palms and go blind!!"



"But Dad!! Joe Donnelly writes in the TDR magazine and he told us to come over and check out what really makes some horsepower... "



"Listen sonny Jim... . don't believe everything you hear on the TDR or that magazine... afterall BANKS advertises there... "



"Oh no!! Not BANKS!!!... . Dad!, Dad! I'm so sorry... . I should have known not to listen to Joe... . please forgive me!"



"It's okay little wee man... . we all make mistakes... . lets get outta here (common movie saying... )... "



"I'll be back!!" (said just like Arnold Swarzeneggar... . but without the Austrian accent... . )



"Oh no! It's Joe!!! RUN!! ..... to the Green Machine!!" "Quick! Hit the switch that kicks in the *censored*!!"



"Phew... . glad we made it out of there... ... Maybe we should go to Hooters for some grub... that'll get your mind off that Edge-EZ"



"Great... . I'll call TXDieselKid... ...

 

[Murle]

LMAO!!!!!! I'm glad that someone else in this old world still has balls.

 

[TxDieselKid]

SO my phone rang and I answered... "Hey Clam Chowder Boy!". I decided to pick up Merrick on the way to Hooters to show him what real woman looked like. Merrick wanted to know of how he could "use the force" to clean his stacks, and I said he would have to ask Holeshot for that.



On the way to Hooters, we saw Whitmore on the side of the road with the hood up. He was thinking about hooking up a relay for his lift pump even though it wasn't needed. We asked if he wanted to goto Hooters with the rest of the gang, and he said sure. So Merrick, TxDieselKid, and Whitmore all proceeded to Hooters!!!

 

[Whitmore]

When we pulled up to Hooters in the green machine there were all kinds of good looking Woman's outside admiring the beautiful truck, they asked if they could have a ride and we replied... ... ... ..... Holeshot, tool and Torque are all happily married and we are faithful to our brides but the KID here is very young and is single so maybe being a Turbo Diesel Head he can take you girls for a spin whilst us boys go in and have a beer. The girls all jumped in with the Kid and when he fired up the all mighty CUMMINS from the green machine there eyes were going as the black smoke rolled out of the tail pipe and the tires lite up like the 4th of July, they hauled butt over the hill as we (holeshot, torque , the Tool and Whitmore went inside and sat down. A waitress (she must work part time because she had a masectomy) came over and said are you guys the Famous TDR Bros ... ..... yep thats us, she replied there is a guy over here named Tcpdrafting that has been waiting for you .

 

[TPCDrafting]

I'd been home working, well, really reading the TDR and had browsed by the SAGA thread once or twice. Knowing HOURS before that my brothaas would be at Hooters I grabbed the laptop and headed out. I drove my stock 12v as fast as it would go to get there. I was chased by the cops, but I noticed the cruiser had vanity plates that read "BIG SAINT" and he musta seen my TDR decal and called off the chase. He was after bigger game as he spun around and chased a green Ram blowing black soot and was hauling a load of babes. I recognized the driver, it was the elusive Kid! I guess he'd layed low long enough. Well I had pulled into town. It was a strange mid-west town. I was stopped in traffic to wait for a parade to pass by. It was a TDR members parade heading down main street. Steve was at the head of the parade waving (one handed). In the next truck was Sdalton and he was passing out cash to everyone, boy what generousity! The next truck was pulling a mock jail wagon. The truck driver was a beautiful young lady. She had been attacked and our great justice system had jailed her father for defending his family... Yes that's right it was Redneck Toadstomper who was in the jail cell. Now that's a crime I thought to myself! The next was the Chat wagon driven by Rob Thomas. He was driving and Chatting at the same time. How you ask? He was using mind over matter software written by Morph. Well there was a break in the parade and I made my move to head to Hooters. I had beat the guys there so I decided to get a table. I asked for a good one, you know where you can sit with a perfect view of a long aisle that the "hired help" have to walk down to place orders and such. I was so busy I didnt' even notice my guys walk in. The cycloptic waitress came to let me know my group was here. I told her to send them over! I didn't want to lose such a good table! Hey you power jokers! I exclaimed as they approached the table. As they sat down we heard the front door fly open. Black smoke oozed in from outside. All the hooter and hooters girls turned towards the door and started to chant. They obviously knew this guy, he must be more than just a regular. They were chanting Daaarrreeelllll, Daaarrreelll, Daaarrreeelll. I had to look hard to see who it was. Was it Darrell Strawberry?? Nope, better yet it was DarrellB. He strutted accross the floor over to our table and said... .

 

[DarrellB]

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..... Hello, to all the pretty young well endowed Hooter's girls. Then as any fellow TDR brother would do he ordered a fresh round of cold beer for the round table of the TDR. As he sat down at the table everyone heard a loud roar coming from the road outside. What the heck is that they all asked. And as they ran to look out the window they saw it. A beautiful long black Dodge dually with a huge TT behind it, that was almost not visible through the thick cloud of black smoke coming from the huge exhaust pipe of the truck. This was the first in a line of many trucks. Next was Stack'd-n-Jack'd's lifted twin turbo machine doing donuts in the middle of the highway. Behind him was J. R. in his experimental 12valve with pipes coming out the hood. Behind him was Stroke This 24V in his pulling machine. Behind him was Jwilliams and aotte. It was all the OVB guys, but what did they all want? Did they come to pillage and plunder this sleep western village? or were they just lost and in need of a cold beer? As the line of truck entered the parking lot all the Hooter's girls ran to the bar and grabbed as many pitchers of beer as they could. This was going to be one Wild and Insane TDR rally and they were going to need lots of cold beer and MORE GIRLS.

But just as the Wet Tshirt contest to decide Miss TDR was about to start "Dieselgirl" walked in and... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .

 

[dieselgirlanddan]

..... Stumbles over Stack'd-n-jack'd's foot,Spilling his beer onto justin's shirt, Who yelped in surprise, Startling the Hooters girl who ended up pouring a pitcher of beer onto TxDieselkid's lap, Who was so shocked by the sudden cold that he could only emit a loud high-pitched squeak, That broke the mug Whitmore was holding, dropping a large chunk on tcpdrafting's toe, who reeled in pain, accidentally hitting the main light switch. As DieselGirl brushed the peanut shells off her jeans and introduced herself to Stack'd-n-Jack'd while the sudden commotion was slowly dyin', The door opened. Silhouetted in the fading light was a man. Thinking the place was closed, He was about to leave, When ToolManTimTaylor Turned the lights back on. Briar Hopper eyed the destruction and asked... ... .....

 

[ToolManTimTaylor]

Which way to the bathroom 'cause this whole mess has me all upset inside! And with that the door flung open and a wicked bright light had shone thru the door and a shiloette of a man enters the light rays ... ... ... ... ... . Oh my gawd it's the wise one a man equated with a fictional charater associated with a famous movie called Obi~1 ... . his name ... . Doc Tinker. And with a very wise voice tone that reaches into the very soul of wisdom ... .

 

[Doc Tinker]

"Son-of-a-Wookie! I can't leave you guys alone for five minutes! Quick! Everyone out the back! The Storm Troopers are coming!"



As almost everyone scooted for the back door, the Troopers busted through the front, laser swords raised high. There stood Briar Hopper, wide eyed and all alone.



Meanwhile, in the back alley, the TDR Bad Boys are on the run when Bigsaint flew into the alley with his souped up Cummins Cruiser. A loud noise emitted from the Cummins Cruiser and the Bad Boys were engulfed in a cloud of black smoke.



Back in the Hooter Den, The Storm Troopers were threatening Briar Hopper with their laser swords. Actually they were unable to communicate with Briar Hopper, because they don’t have lips for him to read. Just as they were ready to cut him down with the laser swords, Diesel Girl, whom the TDR boys abandoned in the alley, came back in to the Hooter Den, through the back door. The Troopers stopped threatening Briar Hopper and took off after Diesel Girl, who ran into the women’s room. Briar Hopper turned and raced out of the front door, thinking “Who started this cluster mess?”



In the alley, Bigsaint had fired one of his diesel canons, just before he realized he was firing upon friends. Fortunately for the Bad Boys the diesel canon misfired and only blew black smoke. The black smoke covered them with a layer of greasy soot though, and made them slippery. Bigsaint, now that he knew he was with friends, dropped the hatch of his Great While Cummins Cruiser…

 

[Bigsaint]

And said... OMG !!! is this a MAMBLA meeting or what ? YOU, over there with that bad face job, HIT THE BRICKS !!! Only real men can drive a CTD, so GET OUTTA DODGE !!! Then Bigsaint noticed Brandon playing with some permatex.....

 

[Brandon]

have no Fear saint, Brandon and his portagee power wrecking crew are all ready on the scene ready to tear some stuff up and reek serious carnage on man and machine. Saint If you need some help we need some practice before we bring the house down at october showdown in tulare with csutton7, jsilva, louie, and keith silva... ... . So lets get to the brawl cuz if you arent breakin parts you aint makin no power, btw its not permatex, its yamabond and lots of other goodies that keep the new copper hg in place. csutton7 speaks up and says the cops are on there way, but we cant go with ya cuz all our stuff is broke... ... ..... (whats new?)so we all pile into sutt's truck to get away, just take it easy so we dont get another smoking ticket... ... ... ... ... ...

 

[csutton7]

... with pedal just barley depressed and the turbos straining from underboost the whole scene turns black as night and we ease out leaving the storm troopers, not being able to see the light from their powderstroke laser swords and the cops are gagging from the black tornado being sent their way by the gaggle of trucks spewing forth their unburned power and with Big Saint acting as a decoy we exit stage left --but only to go around the block and set forth a second round of high whining, soot spewing, rubber burning assault that would make Osama bin laden wrap himself into a mummy with his duramax turbin---but oh from the far east doth cometh the oh so quiet attack of the Darth Vader led durapads and the storm troopers sensing the universe turning in their favor and donning EPA gear, up their fight, but with the force we call in the forces led by the SLEDPULLER ... .

 

[Pit Bull]

We really have some funny and talented people on this site.

 

[fest3er]

Originally posted by Pit Bull
We really have some funny and talented people on this site.

I'm still trying to figure out how TMTT squeezed back in here... .



Fest3er

 

[Bigsaint]

I'd like to call a 50 HP penalty for Pit Bull and fest3er .



Scott W.

 

[Bigsaint]

Ah, but SLEDPULLER is stopped by some lunatic with blue lights driving a CTD. Why, it's Fireman Dave , who promptly pulls out his hose and wets down the aftermath of CSuttons blaze. SLEDPULLER promptly runs over Daves hose , hooks up to the stronghold and tears down the remnants... .



edit... whooops, I 'LOOPED' prematurely, guess I get a 50 HP penalty as well.



Scott W.

 

[csutton7]

over the star waves we have found out that Sled Puller has been captured and put in the bilge of an evil starship--so now for days we have been under attack by Darth Vader and his good for nothing stormtroopers---so it's with urgency we've begun to install larger thrust injectors, dual exhaust ports that exit from every known point, electronic descramblers, plates that emit even more of the deadly waste that brings the stormstrokers and duradroids to their knees, but we need back up so with a secret understar message sent to BriarHopper we wait patiently for his troops to blast in to ... ... ...

 

[ToolManTimTaylor]

The Bathroom in which he steped into quite some time ago. All of a sudden we looked outside and saw Diesel Freak trying to corral all of the evil forces into one huge tractor trailer to be hauled off to ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .....