The Divorced Barbie Doll

[hammersley]

The Divorced Barbie Doll



One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He stops by a toy shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?"

The salesperson answers, "Which one do you mean, sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19. 95, Shopping Barbie for $19. 95, Beach Barbie for $19. 95, Disco Barbie for $19. 95, Ballerina Barbie for $19. 95, Astronaut Barbie for $19. 95, Skater Barbie for $19. 95, and Divorced Barbie for $265. 95. "



The amazed father asks: "It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265. 95 and the others only $19. 95?"



The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir... , Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls. "

 

[Diesel Dan]

Thanks Hammersly,



I needed a good laugh to start my day



DD

 

[fkovalski]

There are now a series of "Colorado Barbies" that are amusing. These make more sense for CO residents, but anyone could be interpreted for other locations:







Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Colorado market:





"Castle Rock Barbie"

This princess Barbie is sold only at Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.





"Briargate Barbie"

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.





"Southside Springs Barbie"

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ... unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.





Limon Barbie-This pale model comes dressed in her Wranglers 2 sizes too small,a Nascar t-shirt,and Tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of beer,and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchase her pick up truck separately.





"Pine Creek Barbie"

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.





"Peyton Barbie"

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.





"Pueblo Barbie"

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Peyton Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.





"Manitou Barbie"

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Manitou Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.





Boulder Barbie-This doll is made of actual tofu. Has long,straight brown hair,archless feet,hairy armpits,no makeup,and wears Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers to be called Willow. She does not want nor need a Ken doll.





"Widefield Barbie"

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.





"Trinidad Barbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

 

[Dieselnut59]

"Trinidad Barbie/Ken"

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

That is a good one! I heard a similar one a while back: (paraphrasing)



Welfare Barbie:

Comes with food stamps, prepaid cell phone, neck tattoo, hoop earrings, 6 pack of beer, bottle of booze, marijuana cigarette, 3 children, but no Ken. Only available with club wear clothing.

Also available with 1986 Chevrolet Caprice with 24" spinning rims or 2007 Chevrolet Escalade. Sorry, not available with a house or a job, only an apartment (in order to assure continuation of food stamps)

Price: Free, if you are low income