Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us *****ing about you leaving it down.
ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit not a color and what exactly is teal?
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. From now on we refuse to answer.
Don't cut your hair ever. Get this -- men think long hair is always more attractive than short hair. Period. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Stop turning Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries into quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! We cannot! Just tell us what to buy, where to get it and make this easy.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Deal with it.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, sports, or sports.
Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Can't you just let it be?
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Check your oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take a magazine quiz together.
Anything we said or did 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, now I may
have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit not a color and what exactly is teal?
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. From now on we refuse to answer.
Don't cut your hair ever. Get this -- men think long hair is always more attractive than short hair. Period. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Stop turning Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries into quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! We cannot! Just tell us what to buy, where to get it and make this easy.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Deal with it.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, sports, or sports.
Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Can't you just let it be?
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Check your oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take a magazine quiz together.
Anything we said or did 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, now I may
have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.