I've only owned a Ram CTD since '93 (and have 800 miles on my '05

), but been around bigger trucks all my life. I always heard that "cooking" a turbo comes from the oil "cokeing", and that's caused by cutting the truck off (thus stopping oil circulation through the turbo) while the turbo still hot enough to cause the oil to start breaking down from the heat. Even if the bearing surfaces are cool enough to not burn the oil when you shut it down (which they wouldn't be while the engine is running because the circulating oil is cooling them), heat will transfer from the rest of the turbo and manifold after the engine is stopped, which would obviously raise the temps of the bearing surfaces for a while, thus "spiking" the temps and burning the oil, if things aren't allowed to cool down sufficiently first.
All that having been said, I've generally towed heavier than average loads since I've owned a CTD, and I've never cut it off at a fuel stop and don't ever intend to, unless the fuel stop is combined with a meal stop, in which case the truck runs while I'm fueling and gets shut down after I park it to go eat. Usually, if I've been running hard, I'll let it idle until I've gotten the fueling started and checked the tires, then turn on the exhaust brake to keep from cooling things down too much.
The truck stop idling measures some states are looking at are only aimed at extended, or even overnight idling, as far as I've heard. I don't think any state will ever ban idling while refueling, and if they (CA) did, it wouldn't be inforced.