Here I am

we all have had one.

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Question - Brace and Bit Chuck

Tool replacement

i've got a buddy who wanted help turning up the pump on his 12 valve, he was some distance away but he said he could probably do it by himself, he would just call me with any questions. so i get this call from him and he says "ok so i'm ready, how do i find the injection pump?" i just told him to close the hood and we'll do it sometime when he's in town. :-laf
 
Nova Tune-up

I had a neighbor many years ago who should have been banned from owning any tools. You know the type; polishes the car... including the black textured trim which leaves white streaks on the trim for the next several months. One day he decided to replace the spark plugs in his v-6 Nova. After a few hours of tinkering, a tow truck showed up and towed the Nova away!



Speaking of engineers (I'm one too) a design engineer at corporate showed up with mud flaps on the front wheel wells attached to the FRONT of the wheel well opening because... are you ready?... the car was front wheel drive!!!??? He's the same guy who proposed the company spec out a switch with no tolerance to eliminate adjustments.
 
EdK said:
Speaking of engineers (I'm one too) a design engineer at corporate showed up with mud flaps on the front wheel wells attached to the FRONT of the wheel well opening because... are you ready?... the car was front wheel drive!!!??? He's the same guy who proposed the company spec out a switch with no tolerance to eliminate adjustments.



Your buddy there is what we at work call an "educated idiot". No practical application. :confused:
 
This one I like...

GCULP said:
bought my then father-in-law a cordless screwdriver for father's day, couple months later he wanted to hang shelf on the wall so I suggested he go get the screw gun, he hands me the screw gun and asked, "should I get an extension chord as well?", I said sure, and put the shelf up while he was looking for the chord.



This is why I took away my dad's tools before he hurt himself or someone else.



My mom swears that he rebuilt the carburetor on our Opel GT in the early 80s. She was concerned about the extra parts but it seemed to run ok. I don't know whether to believe her or not.



He "works" as an independent computer technician/programmer. Not much of a living, but the people that he does work for seem to love him because he will make a Windows 95 box keep on running if you really want him to.
 
Ya yes. . the dreaded incompetent neighbor.

Several years ago, a knock at the door. My knucklehead neighbor, in what I call a "Left Side Body Cast". I mean this thing started at his neck, went from stem to stern, the whole side him, including his arm.

In his right hand ..... is a driveshaft.

Now... he started talking, but all I heard was Charlie Browns School Teacher, and something about me changing his u-joints.

What I began to piece together while he babbled, was the prior day, I went out and noticed the rear of his Chevy van up on ramps, and him underneath staring at the driveshaft.

I sure timed it right-must have been one heck of a show a few minutes after I left.

The real irony- Chuck became a Chock.
 
My poor stepson is a nice fellow, but doesn't know which end of the screwdriver to stick in the wall outlet. About 3 years ago at Christmas I gave him a small hatchet to split kindling for his woodstove. We and his in-laws were all at his house for Christmas dinner when he went out on the porch to split some kindling. From inside we heard "wham," followed by mumbling and grumbling; "wham," with more mumbling and grumbling, "wham," etc. After about four "whams" he called out "Ches, this little axe won't work. " His father-in-law and I went out on the porch to see what was the matter. The boy (age 38) had not removed the leather belt-scabbard/cover from the head of the hatchet and was trying to split the kindling with it in place -- it was still daylight out, also. His F-I-L and I were actually holding each other up, we were laughing so hard!
 
Rudity23 said:
This is why I took away my dad's tools before he hurt himself or someone else.



I know how you feel. My father (a professional historian) and tools don't mix... Yet he was a service tech in the Air Force during Vietnam (B-52, F-4)... Kinda scary... I can only hope his supervisors kept him away from anything really important...



I get my mechanical aptitude from my mother's side...
 
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