What's your favorite blonde joke?

[bmoeller]

I like this one-



A blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.



When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake.

He thought she probably meant 1. 5 gallons, so he knocked on the door

to clarify the point.



The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1. 5 gallons?"



The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath. "



The milkman replied, "Oh, OK. Pasteurized?"



The blonde said, "No. Just up to my boobs. "



www.stupid.com

 

[NETim]

OK

The blond comes running home one day extremely excited. "Mommy! Mommy! Today at school I was the only one who could count to 20! No one else could get past 13! Is that because I'm blond?"



"Yes dear, it's because you're blond. " her mother replied.



The next day the blond comes home even more excited. "Mommy! Mommy! Today at school when we did our ABC's I was the only one who got all the way to L! No one else made it past F! Is that because I'm blond?"



"Yes dear, it's because you're blond. "



The third day the blond runs home and announces, Mommy! Mommy! Today at school we went swimming and I noticed that when us girls put on our swimsuits I was the only one who had boobies! Is that because I'm blond?



"No dear, that's because you're 25. "



Tim

 

[bmoeller]

:-laf :-laf



Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it?

Nobody. The first four don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.





What do you call a zit on a blonde's butt?

A brain tumor.

 

[illflem]

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The DJ was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"

 

[bmoeller]

Once a blonde decided to go ice fishing. She grabbed all her equipment and put on her fishing outfit. . She walked out onto the icy surface and found a good spot. She took a knife and made a large circle in the ice with it.

"NO! Not there! You will find no fish!" a booming voice announced out of nowhere. So the blonde moved a few feet away and made another circle. "NO!! Not there either!!" The voice boomed again. The blonde moved a third time, making another circle on the ice.

"I said, NO!! There is no fish there!!" The voice boomed again.

"Is that you, God?" The blonde called out.

"NO!!" The voice boomed. "It's the manager of the ice rink!!"

 

[Jumbo Jet]

A blonde gets pulled over by a blonde female State Trooper for speeding. The Trooper asks her for a picture ID. The blonde driver digs through her purse, finds her compact, opens it, sees her face in the mirror and hands the compact to the blonde State Trooper. The State Trooper looks in the mirror and says "Gosh, if I had known you were a fellow police officer, I wouldn't have pulled you over!".

 

[lschultz]

Ugh what color hair does 3atatime have. If its blonde you fellows are in for it:-{}Don't say I did not warn you.

 

[Texas Diesel]

Dr to blonde: "You're pregnant"

Blonde to Dr: "Is it mine?"

 

[wcaldwell]

A Blonde pushed her BMW into the gas station. She walked over to the young kid there, pointed at her car and said "It Died!". The kid walks over, raises the hood and tinkers with the engine for a couple of minutes and has it running like new. The Blonde walks over and says, "So, what's the story?" The kid replied, "Just crap in the carbureator. " "The Blonde then asked, "And how often should I do that?"

 

[klenger]

Two blonds walk into a bar, ... the third one saw it and ducked.

 

[BIGDIG]

Originally posted by lschultz

Ugh what color hair does 3atatime have. If its blonde you fellows are in for it:-{}Don't say I did not warn you.

!! LONG,CURLY AND BLONDE !!!!

 

[kiwi bird]

A blonde has to pay a big bill and has no money so she decides to kidnap a child and get a ransom.



She goes to the park and kidnaps a little boy and then she writes a ransom note - "If you don't leave $10,000 under the oak tree in the park you'll never see your child again. Signed, A Blonde".



Then she gives the note to the kid and tells him to go home and give the note to his mother.



Next day she collects a bag with $10,000 in it and a note - "Here's your money - I hope you're happy. Signed, Another Blonde"

 

[tntway]

Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener???



She thought is was Diet Coke

 

[cap-n-cray]

Cary

 

[slo-ryde]

Sherwin-Williams just introduced a new paint color called "blonde". It's not very bright but spreads easy.

 

[DKayser]

blondies

Why did the blonde climb the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side! What is the mating call of a blonde? "I`m drunk"

 

[Jeff H]

What Do You Call A Blonde Behind The Wheel?

An Air Bag

 

[schu777]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started. " He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger. "



Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger. "



He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then..... " he sighed,"let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box. "

 

[BreaksEverything]

Don't Cheat On A Blonde

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.



The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful Red head . She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.



The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up... you're next!"

 

[BreaksEverything]

A Blondes Pain

A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over. "



"What do you mean?" said the doctor.



The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts. " Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too. " Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts. "



The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"



"Why yes," she said.



"I thought so," said the doctor... "You have a sprained finger. "