You might be a Power Wagon owner if....

[.44 mag]

Just something I put together based off something I stumbled across... .







YOU MIGHT BE A POWER WAGON OWNER IF... ... ... .....







You know how to properly pronounce "Moab" and "Rubicon".



You've ever had to explain the term "pucker factor".



You've been known to yell "That's not a four wheel drive dammit!" at your

television.



You think 10 miles a gallon is "fuel economy".



You bought a Power Wagon before buying a house.



You bought a Power Wagon before buying furniture for the new house.



You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares.



You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!



You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and

the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more truck on the

street or in the front yard.



The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of

importance):



8 car climate controlled garage with a hoist and an attached machine shop.

Outside parking for 6 trucks, a motorhome, a 1-ton dually, a 30'enclosed

trailer and a 6x6.

3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.

A grease pit.

Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.

Deaf neighbors (very important).

Across the street from a paint and body shop.

Some sort of house with a working toilet on the property somewhere -or-

hookups for the motorhome.



You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of mud tires

that could have been purchased.



"You know well that Orthodontic work is the equivalant of three sets of

tubes, tires, and flaps"



You sit in your truck in a dark garage and make engine noises and shifting sounds, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.



You look at the purchase of tools as a "long term investment".



Your wife says, "If you buy another Power Wagon, I'm getting a new BMW. "



If you can lose five pounds in a July afternoon while sand-blasting tuck parts.



Your children are named after favorite fishing spots (and one or more of them

were conceived on a trail ride).



Your garage holds more trucks than your house has bedrooms.



You're tired of people asking how fast your Power Wagon is and expecting to hear the

top speed in MPH, not time and distance traveled.



You have an immaculate Power Wagon which you drive one day a week, and the vehicle

that gets you around the other 6 days is rusted, covered with duct tape, and

has a pair of Vise Grips holding the brake line together. You promise

yourself you'll fix it right after this season, or when you need your Vise

Grips for something else.



You have enough spare parts to build another Power Wagon.



More than one tractor supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by

name when you call.



You have truck parts in your cubicle at work.



The guys at the local NAPA store laugh when you come in.



Your mother is shocked to find you have truck that doesn't go over 45mph.



If you can't remember when you last rested on weekends.



You're registered for wedding gifts at the Napa store and Vintage Power Wagons.



Your Christmas list begins with a Braden MU-2 and a rear power take-off (and

your 'significant other' knows what these are).



After your answer to "How was your weekend?" the next question is always:

"And you do this for fun?... . Right?"



You have a separate drawer for rally t-shirts.



Your lawn mower has mud tires and a winch.



Questionable taste..... but true, the new Power Wagon Advertiser arrives in the mail and

you disappear to the bathroom for hours.



Your reading material in your bathroom consists of truck parts and off-road

supply catalogs, several Dodge shop manuals, every book Don Bunn has ever written... . and 400 four wheeling magazines, none of which have centerolds.



People know you by the truck you drive.



People know you by your adventures... . "Oh, you were the one stuck in the mud at

the lake last weekend!"



Your first date involves a trail ride and hiking boots.



Your criteria for selecting a significant other include truck repair skills and a passion for old Dodges.

(Air tools optional)



You have a prescription to help with depression and withdrawl symptoms

during the "off season"



Your friends don't recognize you without the smell of gear lube and grease on your jeans.



Your family remembers your hair color as "grease".



You plan your job or your wedding around the rally schedule.



You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every

other week or so.



You remember the dates and details of every Power Wagon Rally you've ever been in, but

can't remember your phone number.



Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time

with you.



You know you might be a real Power Wagon owner when crawling around in the muck

wrenching on your truck is much more appealing than reclining on the sofa,

watching the TV with a beer in your hand...



You complain profusely when cars on the freeway go wizzing past at crazy speeds in excess of 60+ mph.



A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or

organic?" ... . and they reply, "Vegetable or corn. "



A neighbor asks to borrow some brushes, you hand them brushes for a

generator/alternator and they give you a funny look.



You tell a friend you need to clean up the head this weekend and they think

you mean the toilet.



You give out (insert your favorite parts catalog here)'s number when a

friend asks for the best hardware store.



You look at the phone pole at that corner and see a good anchor point for spooling your winch cable.



You enjoy driving in the rain (or snow) on the way to work (or school) just

so you can have a chance at pulling out some stuck fool in a modern 4x4.



You always double-clutch a down shift nomatter what you're driving.



You buy real cheap tires for your street truck, so you can save $$$ for the

monster mud tires.



You always want to change something in your street truck to make it have more torque or sit taller.



You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the

next rally.



You memorized the menu at Denny's, Burger King, and other fine fast food

establishments.



You buy beer, shop towels and gear lube by the case.



You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.



You've ever tried to convince your wife you needed a spray booth to fix

the little dent on her station wagon.



You save broken truck parts as "momentos".



Your friends slap you on the back when you tell them you past a car on the freeway today.



When your friends who smoke come over you've got these really unusual ash

trays for them to use (made out of old pistons and other appropriate spare parts).



You've got 3 immaculate Power Wagons always trail ready, but your wife has to

nag you for 2 months before you fix the headlight in her car.



Your "daily driver" is continuously being mistaken for an abandoned truck because it's made up almost entirely of "spare parts".

 

[gitchesum]

Mark?

Anything else to add? Hank seems to have covered most of the bases.

All good ones

 

[Power Wagon]

Hey! I categorically deny that I have more than one.



Since my Power Wagon will exceed 70 in a pinch, I own no spare parts, and drive on cheap tires... I ummm... . Well, I'll add my own:



You know you own a Power Wagon when nobody else for many counties drives a truck that even vaguely resembles yours.



You know you own a Power Wagon when you go into Napa, and the parts guy growl "Why don't you buy something that's in our books???"



You know you own a Power Wagon when someone asks if you're planning on restoring it, and you casually mention you are almost done.



You know you own a Power Wagon when you drive the wife's car and it dawns on you that the traffic no longer voluntarily clears a path for you.



You know you own a Power Wagon when your truck gets rolled, and the biggest damage is the 3 hours of work you lose waiting for someone to get it back on it's wheels.



You know you own a Power Wagon, if two men could completely disassemble it and put it back together in a week, using only wrenches, vice grips, a hammer, a screwdriver, and a cum-a-long hanging from a tree branch (A very STRONG tree branch).



You know you own a Power Wagon when a former owner who owned it 25 or more years ago stops you and asks how you like his truck.



You know you own a Power Wagon when each time the odometer turns over it just means your friends will stop commenting on how old it is for a while.



You know you own a Power Wagon when, after all other means of extrication, including tractors, cats, tow trucks and other 4x4's have been tried and failed to get your friend out of the snow (mud, water, canyon, sand, quicksand, or other life-threatening hazard) he calls you up at 10 PM to get him out.



You know you own a Power Wagon when someone backs into you in the parking lot and the police are unable to determine what it was he struck that destroyed his car.



You know you own a Power Wagon if you don't really need to fix things when they are broken... well, at least not until you get around to it. It'll keep going anyway.



YOu know you own a Power Wagon when some Chevy owner starts bragging about how his old Chevy truck is so durable and long lasting, and you haven't the heart to tell him you accidently drove over it in the parking lot.



YOu know you own a Power Wagon when when your amatuer mechanic friend wants help with power steering, air conditioning, radio, power brakes, automatic transmission and other items and you have to confess that in your 30 years of mechanical repairs you've never seen those things before.



You know you own a Power Wagon when members of the Car Spotters Guild of America stop you and ask if your truck was homebuilt...



You know you own a Power Wagon when when each time the City condemns a building and wants to destroy it, the contractor calls you up and says "Have you ever seen the movie Twister? Wanna do a re-enactment?"



You know you own a Power Wagon when teenagers who see it for the first time and ride in it ask if it was made from a converted tank.

 

[Power Wagon]

Left one out...

You know you own a Power Wagon, when the parts house mentions that the last time they sold the part you're buying was 22 years ago... to the former owner.

 

[rich m]

'73 W-100 flashback!!

You know you own a PowerWagon when, at 2:00am Wednesday, after a camshaft install, you quote the "IT'S ALIIIIIIIIVVVVVVE!!!!" scene from a Frankenstein movie, and immediately wake up every dog, mule and peacock in the neighborhood with the inaugural Circling Of The Block.



..... when 1/3 of the improvement budget is spent in the clearance basket at the parts store



..... when the bolt patterns on the 2 axles don't match (5on 5. 5 and 5 on 4. 5) so you carry 2 spares (which will bolt up, but the tire sizes are both off)



..... when you haven't seen the truck for 5 years, but you still have the stock intake and the factory 2BBL carb on a shelf in the garage. ("OWNED")



..... when pulling tree stumps breaks the input yoke to the transfer case.



..... when you tow it to the shop behind your Nissan.



... ... when you tow it back home behind your Nissan.



..... when chain-shock loading (stumps again) pops the core loose from your $20 Accel coil and gives it an internal short



... . when you do that again, but with the $5 stock coil





..... when you cut a notch in a perfectly good 1" PVC "tee" to make a locking-hub tool



..... when you would rather saw the exhaust off under the bed than risk another right rear sidewall tear.



... . if you've ever torched something off, rather than wrenching the nut past all those gnarled threads



..... If you've ever mangled the back bumper to the shape of a letter L and couldn't open the tailgate



..... If this happened after obtaining the $50 tailgate to replace the old mangled one.



... . If you still use the old mangled one as a table-top



... . if the part torched off was the left 1/3 of the rear bumper



... . if you've ever been $4500 into a $700 truck, which was initally purchased for $1200



... . If you consider your 2nd Generation Ram to be a 5th-generation Power Wagon



... . If you traded in a "nice" Chevy, which your wife liked, for another big heavy, un-feminine Dodge, partly because you missed the primitive brutishness of the PW.



... . if you like a rolled-steel dashboard because you can hang magnetic note-holders all over the place



... . if you've ever hosed out a truck cab at a car wash



... . if your gas guage quits and you use the screw-jack handle as a dipstick



... . if your guages all read alarming, and then settle down when you have a new battery



... . if your kids wonder why you don't squat down by the front tires anymore for 4-wheeling (former owner stage)



... . if you've ever banged your head on the cab roof, when there was no rollover involved



..... if you've ever admired the packrat scrounging instinct of your gay cousin-in-law who helped you retrieve a "new" back axle from a "pull-your-own-parts" salvage yard



... . if he also helped with the install, and those scrounge parts proved necessary



... . if you still use the old axle as a stepover to vault the backyard wall



... . if you bought it with no radio, and installed a Sparkomatic!