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Cosmic laws

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Usmc

Guns, Bows, Shooting Sports, and Hunting Got back from RV'in

TDRadmin

Staff Member
COSMIC LAWS - Truer words were never spoken.



Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.



Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.



Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.



Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal - and someone always answers.



Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).



Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!



Law of Bio-Mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.



Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.



The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.



Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.



Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.



Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.



Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking - A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!!!



Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.



Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
 
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.



Damn if that isn't absolutely true. It's got to where now adays if I find something I like I buy several, because it's guaranteed they won't exist when I need a new one.



-Ryan
 
Damn if that isn't absolutely true. It's got to where now adays if I find something I like I buy several, because it's guaranteed they won't exist when I need a new one.

-Ryan

Or it still exists, but it's now "New & Improved" (stinkier, greasier, nastier, fall apartier... ):mad:
 
"Murphy's Law of Air Hose's, Drop Cords, Welding leads or Garden Hose"



If you want to drag them to a new location, they will hang up on everything!!



Nick
 
"Murphy's Law of Air Hose's, Drop Cords, Welding leads or Garden Hose"



If you want to drag them to a new location, they will hang up on everything!!



Nick



Holy crap, this happens to you too? I swear I could drag a hose across an empty room and it would get caught up half way across the floor on a ripple in spacetime itself.



McCallister's Law of Knots: to tie a permanent not in any string, toss it on the ground. When you pick it up, it'll have at least one unbreakable knot.



-Ryan
 
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