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Attention: TDR Forum Junkies To the point: Click this link and check out the Front Page News story(ies) where we are tracking the introduction of the 2025 Ram HD trucks.
Thanks, TDR Staff
Here's one that fits the times... 
WHazelwood
TDR MEMBER
A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'
He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes. '
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20. 00. . '
She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?
The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34. 50 please. '
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20. 00? How did you get $34. 50?'
He replies, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20. 00, but the Duck Call is $11. 00 and the Catfish Bait is $3. 50. '
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'
He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes. '
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20. 00. . '
She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?
The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34. 50 please. '
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20. 00? How did you get $34. 50?'
He replies, 'Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20. 00, but the Duck Call is $11. 00 and the Catfish Bait is $3. 50. '
I work as a drilling engineer in the deepwater Gulf of Mexico. One day several years ago we were 200 miles offshore and having well control problems. My wife called me and I told her "Diane, I am up to my eyeballs in alligators". She said "they have alligators out there"? "No, it's just a figure of speech". She woke up real quick and said "I knew that". And no she is not a blond, she is a brunette. Ed B
A CUP OF TEA:
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge. I was maybe 1 and a half years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for
such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??
Oh, by the way the daddy drives a Dodge Ram 4WD with a Cummins.
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge. I was maybe 1 and a half years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.
After several cups of tea and lots of praise for
such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??
Oh, by the way the daddy drives a Dodge Ram 4WD with a Cummins.
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Vaughn, wish you had given that advice a few years ago. I was shoveling some old wood chips and mulch from my dog pen into the bed of the truck from a distance. I thought it would be good entertainment to leave the radio on while I worked, so I turned it up and left all the windows open so I could hear it. This includes the back slider. Yup, old wood chips and mulch all over the back seat. You might think this was a "no duh" common sense thing, but I didn't realize that I was flinging the stuff hard enough to bounce around and go into the cab. Oh well, lesson learned.
Opportunity
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening
>> with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was
>> looking
>> for a special ring for his girlfriend.
>>
>> The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and
>> showed it to him.
>>
>> The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very
>> special"
>>
> > At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock
>> and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000",
>> the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body
>> trembled
>> with excitement.
>>
>> The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it. "
>>
>> The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by
>> check.
>> "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and
>> you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring
>> up
>> Monday afternoon," he said.
>>
>> Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's
>> no money in that account. "
>>
>> I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
>>
>> Don't mess with Old People...
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening
>> with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was
>> looking
>> for a special ring for his girlfriend.
>>
>> The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and
>> showed it to him.
>>
>> The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very
>> special"
>>
> > At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock
>> and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000",
>> the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body
>> trembled
>> with excitement.
>>
>> The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it. "
>>
>> The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by
>> check.
>> "I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and
>> you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring
>> up
>> Monday afternoon," he said.
>>
>> Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's
>> no money in that account. "
>>
>> I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
>>
>> Don't mess with Old People...
An Irish man,French man and a Polock were walking in field they stumble on something on the ground. They pull it out of the grass it turns out to be a gold brick.
They couldn't decide who would have ownership of it since they all stumbled on it. They finaly decide to see who could throw it the farthest would keep it. The Frech man threw it first it went 75 yards, the Polock threw it second it went 200 yards, the Irsh man threw it third the gold brick went and went until it disappeared into the clouds.
A lady boarded a jet with her cat and sat down next to man who was sleeping. The cat started to meow the man woke up and the man told the lady to keep the cat quiet. The lady tries her hardest keep the cat quiet upon take off the cat meows again waking up the man once again the man tells the lady to keep the cat quiet. After in the air a few minutes the cat meows again the man wakes ups graps the cat and starts choking the living day lights out of it. A gold brick flies thru the window and hits the man in the head knocking him out.
They couldn't decide who would have ownership of it since they all stumbled on it. They finaly decide to see who could throw it the farthest would keep it. The Frech man threw it first it went 75 yards, the Polock threw it second it went 200 yards, the Irsh man threw it third the gold brick went and went until it disappeared into the clouds.
A lady boarded a jet with her cat and sat down next to man who was sleeping. The cat started to meow the man woke up and the man told the lady to keep the cat quiet. The lady tries her hardest keep the cat quiet upon take off the cat meows again waking up the man once again the man tells the lady to keep the cat quiet. After in the air a few minutes the cat meows again the man wakes ups graps the cat and starts choking the living day lights out of it. A gold brick flies thru the window and hits the man in the head knocking him out.
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One of my first motos for my busines was
IF YOU CAN'T RUN WITH THE BIG DOGS
STAY ON THE PORCH
(Grocery stores being the Big Dogs. )
IF YOU CAN'T RUN WITH THE BIG DOGS
STAY ON THE PORCH
(Grocery stores being the Big Dogs. )
A Redneck from Virginia walked into a bank in Washington DC and
asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to
California on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he
was not a depositor of the bank. .
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for
the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was
parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and
everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral
for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the
Redneck from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000
loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private
underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of
$23. 07. The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003ebusiness, and \n this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a \n little\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003epuzzled. While \n you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003emultimillionaire. \n What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow \n $5,000?\u0026#39;\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe good \u0026#39;ole \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:13. 5pt\"\u003eVirginia\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:13. 5pt\"\u003e *boy replied, \u0026#39;Where else in \n D. C. *can I park my\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003ecar for two \n weeks for only $23. 07 and expect it to be there when I \n return?\u0026#39;\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHis name was BUBBA\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e \n \u003cdiv\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\n \u003cp\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"black\" size\u003d\"3\" face\u003d\"Times New Roman\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"color:black;font-size:12pt\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e*\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n \u003cp\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"black\" size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-family:Arial;color:black;font-size:10pt\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e*\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n \u003cp\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e \n \u003cdiv\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n \u003cdiv\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n \u003cdiv\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n",0]);//--></SCRIPT>
business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little
puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The good 'ole Virginia boy replied, 'Where else in D. C. can I park my
car for two weeks for only $23. 07 and expect it to be there when I return?'
asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to
California on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he
was not a depositor of the bank. .
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for
the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was
parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and
everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral
for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the
Redneck from the south for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000
loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private
underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of
$23. 07. The loan officer said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003ebusiness, and \n this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a \n little\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003epuzzled. While \n you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003emultimillionaire. \n What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow \n $5,000?\u0026#39;\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe good \u0026#39;ole \u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:13. 5pt\"\u003eVirginia\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"4\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:13. 5pt\"\u003e *boy replied, \u0026#39;Where else in \n D. C. *can I park my\u003cspan\u003e*\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003ecar for two \n weeks for only $23. 07 and expect it to be there when I \n return?\u0026#39;\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHis name was BUBBA\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e \n \u003cdiv\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\n \u003cp\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"black\" size\u003d\"3\" face\u003d\"Times New Roman\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"color:black;font-size:12pt\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e*\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n \u003cp\u003e\u003cfont color\u003d\"black\" size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-family:Arial;color:black;font-size:10pt\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e*\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n \u003cp\u003e\u003cfont size\u003d\"2\" face\u003d\"Arial\"\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-family:Arial;font-size:10pt\"\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/font\u003e \n \u003cdiv\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n \u003cdiv\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n \u003cdiv\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\n",0]);//--></SCRIPT>
business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little
puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The good 'ole Virginia boy replied, 'Where else in D. C. can I park my
car for two weeks for only $23. 07 and expect it to be there when I return?'
Cowboy rules for:
Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Texas, Montana , Utah, Idaho, Oklahoma
and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road. ' I drive a Dodge pickup truck with a Cummins Diesel because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. .
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah . . We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat . IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
17. Buy guns - they're good for the soul.
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Texas, Montana , Utah, Idaho, Oklahoma
and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road. ' I drive a Dodge pickup truck with a Cummins Diesel because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. .
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah . . We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat . IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
17. Buy guns - they're good for the soul.
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
Last edited:
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Issue 128 – Digital Version
Digital Magazines
FREE!
TDR Test Drive - Digital Edition
Renew
Subscribe
Gift Subscriptions
Back Issues
Subscription Status
Address Change Form
Buyer's Guides
Ram Diagnostic Trouble Codes
The Perfect Collection
The Perfect Collection Vol. II
TSB Updates
Dodge/Cummins Historical Overview
Cameron Collection
What Makes Us Tick?
Product Showcase
Advertising
