JRG,
I'm hesitant to respond because I don't want this to be confrontational in any way. The reason I started this thread was so that users interested in using an exhaust brake with the 48RE would be informed of the progress. Communication changes were requested by owners and this is one small way I'm trying to help. If I'm hurting more than helping, I may need to rethink the approach.
The failures are real. I saw some parts last week that came out a test truck that had only 5,000 miles on it. The thrust washer in question is loaded only when the exhaust brake is engaged and there was substantial wear.
There are several differences between an exhaust brake on a diesel and intake-throttle braking on a gasoline engine. First of all, the compression ratio is much higher on a diesel, resulting in more braking force at the flywheel in certain situations. Secondly, and much more importantly, a throttle on the intake side produces vacuum during the piston's downward intake stroke and max possible vacuum is 14 psi below atmosphere (10 psi manifold vacuum pressure is more likely).
On the other hand, an exhaust brake causes extra force during the piston's upward exhaust stoke. The maximum pressure is designed to be around 60 psi above atmospheric conditions. With a retarding pressure that is up to 6 times higher (in absolute terms), the diesel brake is noticeably different from a gas throttle. The result is much more reverse torque being transmitted through the trans.
As I mentioned in a previous post, when the torque converter is unlocked and it is trying to re-lock during exhaust braking, all fluid is recirculated internally to try to build pressure. When this happens, the trans fluid does not pass through the trans cooler and there is a lot of fluid shearing going on. This is acceptable for short periods of time. However, during exhaust braking only, this condition can exist for the entire downhill run. This can result in very high trans fluid temperatures inside the converter but still normal temperatures in the trans pan where the temp sensor is located. Overheated trans fluid, as I'm sure you know, is never a good thing.
Hopefully this has helped answer your questions. Since I have no official involvement with the transmission or warranty, there is not much I can do other than try to keep everyone informed of what I know from an exhaust brake perspective. I hope I'm helping.