Andrew got it right, REAL BBQ is slow-cooked(smoked) over hickory coals, for hours. Steaks and all that, that's just grillin'.
Seems like most Yankees will cook meat just about any old way, pour BBQ sauce on it, and call it BBQ. I've only ever seen it done the right way, down south, slow- smoked. They might have a few places up north that can do it right, but I got tired of looking for 'em.

I can personally attest that Maryland and Virginia and Alabama all have some mighty fine places to get a plate of pulled pork or ribs. And, the best BBQ I've ever had, wasn't in the white part of town.
Opinions will differ, I'm sticking to mine like molasses.
Johnny Ray's in LaPlata, Maryland, near Maryland International Raceway, and Golden Rule in Birmingham, Alabama are awesome.