Any Single Fathers out there??

[sdalton]

Well, a few of you that know me know that I have been going through a bad divorce, over the past two years. It is finally over, and I have full and sole custody of my 4 1/2 year old son. He is a joy and very easy to take care of. It is just a scary thought of doing it all by myself. Any hints or advise would be appreciated.

 

[klenger]

I'm not a single parent, but it sounds like you will do fine with the attitude you have toward your son. You have some tough work ahead of you. My two girls are grown up, but the time sure did go by qucikly.

 

[illflem]

I raised my daughter single handed from 3 years old till 18 when she went off to college. My biggest help was the Afternoon Adventure Club, a woman who ran a day care that would pick the kids up from school and keep them till the parents were off work while also providing supervision and constructive actives. Girlfriends with kids were a big help also. It was fun, you'll do fine and have a good time doing it. Make sure the Ex pays child support, it's not a one way street, you're entitled to it.

 

[LWilliams]

Set a good example

I went through a very bitter divorce several years ago so I sympathize with you, I know first hand it ain't fun. But I survived, and I am stronger and a LOT happier now. I have one son and before the divorce we all fought all the time. Now that the problem is gone (read this as x-wife) he and I get along just fine. He knew what was right and wrong. He was in a position he couldn't do anything about but he had to suffer through it with me. Now he can see how good things are without the stress and hell a bad marriage can be. I have always set a good example for him and my ex would bad mouth me every time she had a chance. He knew the truth but would get in trouble if he spoke up. My advice is to set a good example for your son. Speak in a kind voice but be firm. Listen to him and be his friend. Do things with him and let him know you care about him. Tell him that you love him. Say those three words to him. My dad never said that to me. I knew he loved me but he could never say it. My son and I both tell each other that every time we part. Just do what is right and I bet things will be fine. I know you will be happier. Good luck to you in your new life.

 

[Skydiver]

The list is too long.

Raise your son so that he will raise his son properly.

Far too many people are raising their grandchildren these days.

Remember love IS blind. Don't be afraid to ask for advice just as you did on this website.

If you can, Pre-pay the college tuition NOW.

Good Luck

Tim

 

[bdaniel]

I've been divorced about 5 years. I have 9 and 7 year old boys. They spend most of their time with me, 10 out of every 14 days. It is a lot of work, doing everything yourself. There is always laundry to do, a meal to cook, homework to check, but I love being a "daddy".



My two pieces of advice for getting through a divorce are, conduct yourself so you can sleep at night with a clear conscience and number 2, take it one hour at a time, then one day at a time. If you think too much about the past or the far future you will be overwhelmed. One day at a time and things look manageable.



Bobby

 

[Bill Lins]

BTDT. Lots of good advice above. Always remember: Never lie to him- tell him the truth, whether he likes it or not. Also, always be the DAD- not the buddy. Set firm, fair, and consistent rules. A little churchin' never hurt, either. Bring him to LSTDR meetings- we'll set him straight!



P. S. Don't let him grow up to be a cop!

 

[Whitmore]

a tough job

Lots of good tips here



All I can say is get a job that allows you to be him when he is not in school, Quality time is paramount, he will be just like you and have all your habbits and traits.

I messed up big time with my 3 kids in one respect, I always had 2 jobs and was never home. After doing this I now realize that I missed my kids growing up big time and if I had the chance to do it all over again I would have one job only and adjust my life style from there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Infact I would have taken my business and worked him into it so he would have a job to go to for a carrier (SP) this world is getting scarry.



GOOD LUCK and all will be fine... ... ... cheers, Kevin

 

[Briar Hopper]

Lots of love, lots of teaching. Give him goals to strive for, but never anything impossible. A self-motivated child that is given appropriate amounts of attention and guidance will stay out of trouble. Hopefully! Mine's almost 19 now, it feels like I can remember every bit of our life together, after my wife left when he was 5... .

If I had to do it all over again... ... I would. Definitely. (no, not her ! )

Gotta say, though, he will respect you a lot more, if you don't bad-mouth the ex or argue in front of him.

When he gets to be 11 or 12, I'd expect he'll be asking why he can't go live with her... .