Bill, thank you!
Sleddy, it's not hard at all to get in. To be one, ask one... it's pretty much that simple. The Masons don't 'recruit', you must seek them. My only regret is that I didn't do it 11 years ago.
Once you contact a member, they'll have you fill out a petition for membership. It will then be acted on by an 'investigative committee'. This usually consists of a short interview with a few Brothers, to obtain your motivations and intentions, and to answer any questions that you may have. Given a favorable recommendation by the Brothers, your petition would then be voted on at a monthly meeting. After the vote, you would be contacted with further instructions. If you consider becoming a Mason, do yourself a favor and enter in the traditional manner, not through the one-day class.
I happen to have joined a very active Lodge, but not all are that way. There doesn't seem to be to be any of the behavior which you suggest. We all help each other out, but that's what friends do.