Cat Washer

[Doc Tinker]

How to wash the cat



1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.



2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids up.



3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.



4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape. ) The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.



CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find.



5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a power wash" and "rinse", which I have found to be quite effective.



6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.



7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.



8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.



Sincerely,



The Dog

 

[illflem]

That's the way I do it except I use the cat to clean the toilet, not the other way around. I've found that the cat cleans the bowl better than any scrub brush, the claws even remove tough hard water stains if you leave the cat in overnight.

 

[Steve Campbell]

Doc....

... . can you guarantee that #8 will ALWAYS be the response of the cat?

 

[gatoram]

My dogs and I are with illflem. We all voted to delete step #1 when we try this at home... ...



Good one, Doc... .....

 

[GFoley]

That's the best stuff I've readin a long time. The wife said I was having TOOOO much fun, asked what I was reading. ROTFLMAO BIG Time! read it aloud to her, couldn't finish a complete sentence.

Way too much for me, still laughing.



I'll be forwarding this to to all of the cat lovers I know. Thanks Doc!

 

[DarrellB]

Not what my dog says

My dog seems to rather pick them up by thier heads and shake them profuslly till the head seperates from the neck. It kinda looks like it would hurt a little to me.



Big D

 

[Briar Hopper]

Why would anyone want to wash a live cat? It's easier to just rinse the meat before cooking... .

CAT : The other white meat

 

[LSMITH]

Originally posted by Briar Hopper

Why would anyone want to wash a live cat? It's easier to just rinse the meat before cooking... .

CAT : The other white meat

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

 

[Scot]

Originally posted by Briar Hopper

Why would anyone want to wash a live cat? It's easier to just rinse the meat before cooking... .

CAT : The other white meat

I cannot believe someone would say such a thing about natures own pop-up target.

 

[Briar Hopper]

Doc, if you've actually tried this, I hope you got video. We need something to watch at the campout besides video of two green & silver trucks doing burnouts and going down the strip.

If you're still planning on it, get a Toilet Cam, great close ups of the agitation and rinse cycles!

The PETA and SPCA is on the way, this tape will self-destruct in seven seconds.....

 

[Bigsaint]

Much to my dismay, ours is still alive (damn 9 lives thing I guess). Anyway, here's what I do to help keep kitty clean. We have flower boxes on each of the windows at the front of the house, kitty likes to sunbath in the one adjacent to the kitchen (sink area). I slowly open the window, so not to alarm kitty, then give him a full blast of water from the extendable sink hose. For some reason, he seems to get cleaner when it's real cold outside.



In the summer months, or when kitty happens to slip by me and get inside, we (me and one or both of my daughters) go on a safari with water guns. My daughters low crawl, in true Marine Corps. fashion, through the furniture and seek and soak kitty. Fun for the whole family, just don't comment on the days events when MOM gets home, LOL.



Flame away all you cat lovers , everything I posted above is a big fat lie, just ask my wife, we really love the kitty .



Speaking of cats, did any of you see the post on the A. P. a few years ago in Vernon, NJ. We had some crazy ******** cook his cat. Cops got a call that he had killed his cat ( I was off). They responded to the house and spoke with the homeowner, who was very busy in the kitchen, preparing dinner. After a short discussion it was learned that his dinner was to be 'Gizmo', his girlefriends cat, D. O. A. on the cutting board. Needless to say, he was hauled off to happy land (mental health). He said that he has eaten cat before and you guessed it, tasted just like chicken. True story.



Scott W.

 

[ZEEEW]

We call that kind of wash-n-rinse a "swirly". Personally, I start all my cats out young, in the shower, then they dont hate it so much. Use to have a cat that would get in by itself.

 

[JPS]

Crazy,Doc!

LMAO Doc. Can't wait to send to daughter with 3,mind you ,3 cats. Good work Doc!!! jps