Cats are evil an are plotting our down fall.

[The patriot]

Here's proof.....



Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:



8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

6:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!







Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:





Day 683 of my captivity:





My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed

hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the

rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.





The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt

to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.





Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I

had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The

audacity!





There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was

placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I

could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement

was due to the power of "allergies. " I must learn what this means, and

how to use it to my advantage.





Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this

again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems

to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the

guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors

have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is

safe... ... . for now...

 

[nickleinonen]

:-laf:-laf:-laf

 

[WCPoe]

Pinky the cat strikes back

This cat strikes back:



http://www.buzzhumor.com/videos/1070/Pinky_the_cat

 

[The patriot]

Yea, that's a good one. He was OK until the gentleman said that he was a loving cat. :-laf

Oh... once he figured out he has a collar on... well fugetaboutit.

 

[Stake Man]

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[jwilliams3]

A couple years back one of my cats (the more aggressive tiger type) jumped onto my back while waiting for me to open a can of cat food

 

[WDixon27]

bathing the cat



1. put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl



2. pick up the cat and sooth him while you carry him to the bathroom



3. in one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids, you may need to stand on the lid



4. the cat will self-agitate and make ample suds, never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this



5. flush the toilet three or four times, this provides a power wash and rinse



6. have someone open the front door of your home, be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door



7. stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids



8. the cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak though the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off



9. both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean



sincerely

the dog

 

[jkalchik]

You gotta remember that 2,000 years ago, the Egyptians revered cats as gods.



The cats have *NEVER* forgotten.

 

[Stake Man]

They even seek our women...

#ad

 

[Stake Man]

#ad

 

[Elite1]

Speaking of cats... I got this e-mail from my Bro-in-law stating that all 5 of his chickens are gone. He thought it was rather odd because he is on a couple of acres of mostly avocado trees, here in Camarillo, CA, all fenced in and he has a couple of boxer dogs that patrol the property, the Coyotes have always stayed on the other side of the fence. He was looking for the missing chickens and walked by an old wooden shed and heard low grumbling coming from under the shed. Then he saw a blur run by him and bound the fence, the dogs were too slow, but then they went wild barking at the shed... he took the following pics of a bobcat with a little digital camera that he stuck under the shed:

#ad




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[jnelson]

In Genesis in clearly states ... ... "I give you dominion over all animals... except cats ofcourse. " :-laf

 

[JApol]

When I was in high school I was staying at a friends house over night and they had a $400 cat that was stripped like a tiger. I must have been wiggling my toes and or feet during the night and this cat thought it would be a good idea to pounce on my feet. Before I could even think about it I did a bicycle kick that Pele would have been proud of. That cat didn't drop an inch over the 20 feet to the opposite wall. The cat survived and I rarely saw it again. Maybe it was plotting my future demise.

 

[WDixon27]

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

 

[The patriot]

cleaning the toilet....

1 Raise lid, put selected soap in the commode.

2 Find the cat. Stroke it soothingly while walking to the bathroom.

3 Raise the lid and throw the cat in the commode.

3a Swiftly close the lid. You may need to put something on the lid to keep the cat from exiting the commode.

4 Flush vigerously. Several times. Ignore the sounds, this is the cat agitating the soap. The more you flush, the cleaner the toilet will be.

5 Open the front door. Be sure to clear the path from the bathroom to the front door.

6 Stand back and open the lid on the commode. Some like to video tape this event. :-laf

7 Done.

As a side benefit, the cat is also clean.