The advertising fee, assuming it's the factory one, is legitimate. I think it is regional and the amount may vary. I first ran into this on an '02 Volvo we bought. I thought the dealer was trying to scam me, so after much persistence at Volvo headquarters I finally got through to a lady who explained it. I disagree with the concept, as I think they should average it out and build it into the price of the vehicle, but it is legit.
As for the hand-rubbed treatment, I would flatly refuse to pay it. Tell them to bill it to Rosy Palm :-laf