Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
1. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
2. Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
3. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
5. Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
6. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always
locking three.
7. Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
8. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are OK, then it's you.
9. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
10. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.
11. A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket"? she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too. "
12. I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
13. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, "Oh no ... I could be eating a slow learner. "
2. Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
3. I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
5. Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
6. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always
locking three.
7. Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
8. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are OK, then it's you.
9. Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
10. I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.
11. A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket"? she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too. "
12. I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
13. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, "Oh no ... I could be eating a slow learner. "
. I gotta put on my thinking cap to come up with something to put in this thread..... 
