Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
Got this in email, thought I would pass it along.
If I were President George W. Bush's Speech Writer.
By Mitchell R. Robb
Good evening my fellow Americans.
First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of
New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You
can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure
the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest country in
the world and we will get through this trying time. Now is the time for
all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no
one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American people.
To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this:
Are you F***ing kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads
wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you not
know who you are F***ing with? Americans are so hungry to kill, that we
shoot at each other every day. We will relish that opportunity for new
targets for our aggression.
Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last
people that started F***ing around with us? Remember the little yellow
*******s over in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted
about 2 million of them in their own back yard. That's what we in
America call a big A** barbecue. Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder
why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way, Mexico started jacking
around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent them
packing. Ask your buddy Saddam about F***ing with the good 'ole
USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard
to shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our
soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he
couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his S***ty little country.
Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter
box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or
a mountain high enough that's going to keep your camel riding asses
safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps
and any place that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we
might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past.
This is America. We kick A**. This is what we do. Go ahead and
laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry asses.
God bless America!
Morph.
If I were President George W. Bush's Speech Writer.
By Mitchell R. Robb
Good evening my fellow Americans.
First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of
New York and all Americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You
can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure
the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest country in
the world and we will get through this trying time. Now is the time for
all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no
one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the American people.
To the people responsible for today's tragedy, I say this:
Are you F***ing kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads
wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you not
know who you are F***ing with? Americans are so hungry to kill, that we
shoot at each other every day. We will relish that opportunity for new
targets for our aggression.
Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last
people that started F***ing around with us? Remember the little yellow
*******s over in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted
about 2 million of them in their own back yard. That's what we in
America call a big A** barbecue. Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder
why it's so big? Because we wanted it that way, Mexico started jacking
around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent them
packing. Ask your buddy Saddam about F***ing with the good 'ole
USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because it's too hard
to shoot someone when you're doubled over laughing at them. Our
soldiers aren't trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now he
couldn't stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his S***ty little country.
Trust us, Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter
box. Go ahead and try to hide, Bin Laden. There's not a hole deep enough or
a mountain high enough that's going to keep your camel riding asses
safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, his camps
and any place that looks and even smells like he was there. Hell, we
might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past.
This is America. We kick A**. This is what we do. Go ahead and
laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming and we will smoke your sorry asses.
God bless America!
Morph.
Send it to Brian Jennings... . I'm sure he'll be more than happy to read it on air. 
