-
TDR Magazine subscribers receive more than the magazine! You also gain additional forum privileges!
Details here: TDR Privileges
Subscribe to TDR Magazine here: https://www.tdr-online.com/
E-Mail Joke Of The Day.....
- Thread starter mwilson
- Start Date
Attention: TDR Forum Junkies To the point: Click this link and check out the Front Page News story(ies) where we are tracking the introduction of the 2025 Ram HD trucks.
Thanks, TDR Staff
Priceless----While we don't have a "porch" we do sit outside in our campsite and "bark" at passersby. Hugs, Di
WHazelwood
TDR MEMBER
Three friends ages 60, 70 & 80 met for coffee.
The 60 yr. old said that he thought that 60 must be the worst age cause he'd go in the bathroom to pee and just stand there trying to get things to work.
The 70 yr old said, no it's 70 cause when he went to go poop he had problems and all the remedys didn't help.
The 80 yrl old said, no it's 80, so they asked " you mean you have trouble both peeing and pooping?" He said, no, every morning at 6:30 he'd pee like a race horse, and at 7:00 he'd have a BM.
Well, what's the problem? they asked
He replied, " I don't wake up till 7:30".
The 60 yr. old said that he thought that 60 must be the worst age cause he'd go in the bathroom to pee and just stand there trying to get things to work.
The 70 yr old said, no it's 70 cause when he went to go poop he had problems and all the remedys didn't help.
The 80 yrl old said, no it's 80, so they asked " you mean you have trouble both peeing and pooping?" He said, no, every morning at 6:30 he'd pee like a race horse, and at 7:00 he'd have a BM.
Well, what's the problem? they asked
He replied, " I don't wake up till 7:30".
HHhuntitall
TDR MEMBER
PUHLEEEEASE!!!
HA!! You might drown them in hospitality and bruise them with hugs!! 
Statistics show that 25% of women are medicated for mental disorders.....
That's a SCARY statistic. That means 75% of them are running around unmedicated!!!
:-laf
[/QUOTE]
Statistics show that 25% of women are medicated for mental disorders.....
That's a SCARY statistic. That means 75% of them are running around unmedicated!!!
[/QUOTE]
Them's dangerous words. Be careful who you say them too :-laf
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6097165568/hA84CAD6F/
Statistics show that 25% of women are medicated for mental disorders.....
That's a SCARY statistic. That means 75% of them are running around unmedicated!!!
[/QUOTE]
Them's dangerous words. Be careful who you say them too :-laf
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6097165568/hA84CAD6F/
Last edited:
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”
“Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”
“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..
..I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"
The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied...
"Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"..
..I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"
A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a family nude beach...
As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger
than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.
She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother
that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'
Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play
Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother 'Daddy is talking to the
silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.
As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger
than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.
She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'
The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother
that many of the men have larger things than his dad does.
She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is'
Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play
Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother 'Daddy is talking to the
silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.
D
Deleted member 995608
Guest
^^^ Good laugh for the morning
GAmes
TDR MEMBER
blonde sleeping in first class waiting for plane to take off...
Lawyer sits down next to her...
Pilot says there will be a delay...
Lawyer says, let's play a game..
blonde says no
Lawyer says come on...
blonde says no...
lawyer says, I'll ask you a question, if you can't answer, you owe me 5.00
You ask me a question, if I can't answer, I'll pay you 500.00
laywer says...what's the capitol of Texas
blonde reaches in her purse and gives hem 5.00
blonde says, what goes up the hill on four legs and comes down on three legs...
lawyer, ponders, uses his phone, laptop and still no answer
lawyer hands the blonde 500.00
lawyer says ok, what goes up the hill on 4 legs and comes down on three legs..
blonde reaches in her purse and hands him 5.00
Lawyer sits down next to her...
Pilot says there will be a delay...
Lawyer says, let's play a game..
blonde says no
Lawyer says come on...
blonde says no...
lawyer says, I'll ask you a question, if you can't answer, you owe me 5.00
You ask me a question, if I can't answer, I'll pay you 500.00
laywer says...what's the capitol of Texas
blonde reaches in her purse and gives hem 5.00
blonde says, what goes up the hill on four legs and comes down on three legs...
lawyer, ponders, uses his phone, laptop and still no answer
lawyer hands the blonde 500.00
lawyer says ok, what goes up the hill on 4 legs and comes down on three legs..
blonde reaches in her purse and hands him 5.00
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…
1) You have to be single and
2) You must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
Dave
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”
She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that…
1) You have to be single and
2) You must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”
“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
Dave
mwilson
TDR MEMBER
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
Here ya go Mike, and yes I stole it.
A policeman was interrogating three blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answered, "That's easy. We'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman said, "Well, uh, that's because the picture shows his profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashed the picture for five seconds at the second blonde and said, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggled, flipped her hair, and said, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responded, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he showed the picture to the third blonde and, in a very testy voice, asked, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" He quickly added, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The blonde looked at the picture intently for a moment and said, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman was surprised and speechless because he really didn't know himself if the suspect wore contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and get back to you on that." He left the room and went to his office, checked the suspect's file on his computer, and returned with a beaming smile. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's true! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied, "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
A policeman was interrogating three blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answered, "That's easy. We'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman said, "Well, uh, that's because the picture shows his profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashed the picture for five seconds at the second blonde and said, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggled, flipped her hair, and said, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responded, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he showed the picture to the third blonde and, in a very testy voice, asked, "This is your suspect. How would you recognize him?" He quickly added, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The blonde looked at the picture intently for a moment and said, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman was surprised and speechless because he really didn't know himself if the suspect wore contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and get back to you on that." He left the room and went to his office, checked the suspect's file on his computer, and returned with a beaming smile. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's true! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied, "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
Wow, you guys are on a roll. They'll all make my newsletter for sure!!! Hugs, Di
Issue 128 – Digital Version
Digital Magazines
FREE!
TDR Test Drive - Digital Edition
Renew
Subscribe
Gift Subscriptions
Back Issues
Subscription Status
Address Change Form
Buyer's Guides
Ram Diagnostic Trouble Codes
The Perfect Collection
The Perfect Collection Vol. II
TSB Updates
Dodge/Cummins Historical Overview
Cameron Collection
What Makes Us Tick?
Product Showcase
Advertising
Turbo Diesel Register
Issue 128 – Digital Version
Digital Magazines
FREE!
TDR Test Drive - Digital Edition
Renew
Subscribe
Gift Subscriptions
Back Issues
Subscription Status
Address Change Form
Buyer's Guides
Ram Diagnostic Trouble Codes
The Perfect Collection
The Perfect Collection Vol. II
TSB Updates
Dodge/Cummins Historical Overview
Cameron Collection
What Makes Us Tick?
Product Showcase
Advertising
