E-Mail Joke Of The Day.....

[Ozymandias]

Received from an old friend...

Subject: 12 commandments of growing old

#1 - Talk to yourself, because there are times you need expert advice.

#2 - Consider "in style" to be the clothes that still fit.

#3 - You don't need anger management, you just need people to stop ******* you off.

#4 - Your people skills are just fine. It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

#5 - The biggest lie you tell yourself is, "I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it."

#6 - These days, "on time" is when you get there.

#7 - Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.

#8 - Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

#9 - Lately, you've noticed people your age look so much older than you.

#10 - You thought growing old would take a lot longer.

#11 - Aging sure has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

#12 - You still haven't learned to act your age and hope you never will.

And one more:

So you know you're growing old when "one for the road" means taking a pee before you leave.
​

OMG - get out of my head.

 

[Dan_69GTX]

 

[bcbender]

OMG - get out of my head.

I resemble that Ozy...I'm with ya.

 

[NIsaacs]

 

[endoscott]

https://www.thefarside.com/comic-collections/508/pets-allowed-jan2022

 

[GroundSquirrel]

They found out that someone had drilled a hole into the wall of the women's shower room at my local gym......


The cops are locking into it

 

[promisedland]

They found out that someone had drilled a hole into the wall of the women's shower room at my local gym......


The cops are LOOKing into it

Fixed it for yah...

 

[mwilson]

 

[BSeyler]

 

[mwilson]

 

[GAmes]

I can't believe you put Yoko Ono and music in the same sentence.

 

[BSeyler]

My son is a railroader and sent me this.

With the heavy snow out there, don’t forget to chain up the locomotive!

 

[JR]

 

[JR]

 

[GroundSquirrel]

What can't Amish men motorboat their wives?......

Because Amish men can only row them

 

[Dan_69GTX]

 

[Dan_69GTX]

 

[Dan_69GTX]

 

[BSeyler]

 

[Dan_69GTX]