E-Mail Joke Of The Day.....

[GAmes]

 

[Grumpy8811]

 

[Grumpy8811]

 

[sarj]

#ad

 

[Grumpy8811]

#ad

yeah, there is some validity to that one.. with all the instant replay and cameras used in the league, it makes you wonder when they are going to start policing some of the obvious poor calls of the officials.. because that personal foul that wasn't was a bad call..

 

[Grumpy8811]

The Georgia Trooper

A Georgia State trooper pulled a car over on I-75 about 2 miles north of Macon. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Atlanta to do a show for the Children’s Hospital. He didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.
While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car. A drunken good old boy from Byron got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to his car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.


The drunk replied, “You might as well take me to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”

 

[GAmes]

I once dated a girl who broke up with me because I only have 8 toes.
Yes, she was lack-toes intolerant.

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire.

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that's humerus.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.

Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven?

Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16. So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!" The leader replied. "That's not just any old lizard ... he's a stand-up chameleon."

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it, but nobody saw it.

Just spoke with Bill Withers and told him "Ain't No Sunshine" is bad grammar. He said, "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know."

Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song, but the chick peas can only hummus one.

Then there was the time Fruit of the Loom took Hanes to court ... it was a brief case.

Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King, but he made a great ruler.

Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg and tomorrow romaines to be seen.

My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right ...Jack and the beans talk.

I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore.

I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me.

Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That's right, the steaks were pretty high.

 

[brucejohnson]

 

[Grumpy8811]

you can't make this sort of thing up..

Yes, Mississippi Lawmaker Introduced 'Contraception Begins at Erection' Act
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/a...aem_2U8LGQdueg-6-Z4K0qtneQ#Echobox=1737744917

 

[Grumpy8811]

 

[Tuesdak]

 

[petersonj]

I called Donald yesterday to get that pushed through.

-John

 

[Dan_69GTX]

View attachment 143099

 

[Dan_69GTX]

 

[Dan_69GTX]

 

[Dan_69GTX]

 

[Dan_69GTX]

My son sent me this….

 

[Mark31]

My wife told me a good joke to put on here, but we forgot it. Doesn't look like our Prevagen has kicked in.

 

[EDankievitch]

 

[crispyboy]

Dad Joke Alert for old guys:
What do you call a line of Easter bunnies hopping backwards?

A receding hare line........