Reasons Riding Horses is Better Than Sex:
-You don't have to sneak your riding magazines into the house.
-If you are having trouble with riding, it's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique.
-The Ten Commandments don't say anything about riding.
-If your trainer takes pictures or videotapes of you riding, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet when you become famous.
-Your horse won't keep asking questions about other horses you've ridden.
-It's perfectly respectable to ride a horse you've never met before, just once, or, ride many horses in the same day, whether you know them or not.
-When you see a really good horse, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining riding him.
-If your regular horse isn't available, he/she won't object if you ride another horse.
-Nobody will ever tell you that you can go blind if you ride by yourself.
-When dealing with a riding trainer, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
-You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy riding stuff.
-You can have a riding calendar on your wall at the office, tell riding jokes and invite co-workers to ride with you without getting sued for harassment.
-There's no such thing as a Riding Transmitted Disease.
-If you want to watch horses on television, you don't have to subscribe to a premium cable channel (but you might need a video tape).
-You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of riding.
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What Happened in Texas?
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the saloon's regulars had a habit of picking on strangers. When the cowboy finished his drink and left the saloon, he found that his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without looking, and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled forcefully. No one answered. "All right, I'm gonna have another drink, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done in Texas! And I don't wanna have to do what I done in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy, true to his word, had another drink and walked outside, to find that his horse had been returned to its post. He saddled up and prepared to ride out of town. The bartender followed the cowboy out of the bar. "Say partner, before you go," the bartender asked nervously, "what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home. "
-You don't have to sneak your riding magazines into the house.
-If you are having trouble with riding, it's perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to show you how to improve your technique.
-The Ten Commandments don't say anything about riding.
-If your trainer takes pictures or videotapes of you riding, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet when you become famous.
-Your horse won't keep asking questions about other horses you've ridden.
-It's perfectly respectable to ride a horse you've never met before, just once, or, ride many horses in the same day, whether you know them or not.
-When you see a really good horse, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining riding him.
-If your regular horse isn't available, he/she won't object if you ride another horse.
-Nobody will ever tell you that you can go blind if you ride by yourself.
-When dealing with a riding trainer, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.
-You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy riding stuff.
-You can have a riding calendar on your wall at the office, tell riding jokes and invite co-workers to ride with you without getting sued for harassment.
-There's no such thing as a Riding Transmitted Disease.
-If you want to watch horses on television, you don't have to subscribe to a premium cable channel (but you might need a video tape).
-You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily for the enjoyment of riding.
*********************************************************
What Happened in Texas?
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the saloon's regulars had a habit of picking on strangers. When the cowboy finished his drink and left the saloon, he found that his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without looking, and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?" he yelled forcefully. No one answered. "All right, I'm gonna have another drink, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I done in Texas! And I don't wanna have to do what I done in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The cowboy, true to his word, had another drink and walked outside, to find that his horse had been returned to its post. He saddled up and prepared to ride out of town. The bartender followed the cowboy out of the bar. "Say partner, before you go," the bartender asked nervously, "what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home. "