From My Uncle

[Missouri Mule]

If things like this don't scare you,you're either "one of "em " or

bulletproof .





(Some of these are old ones. but good ones)



The older we get... .





ONE





Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6,

9 or 12 Chicken

McNuggets.



I asked for a half dozen nuggets.





'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. .



'You don't?' I replied.



'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.



'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'





'That's right. '



So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets



(Unbelievable but sadly true... )



TWO



I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put

her things on the

belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash

register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.



After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all

over for the bar code so she could scan it.



Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'



I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today. '



She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.



She had no clue to what had just happened.



THREE



A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out

very quickly.



When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and

they kept asking

for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy. '



(keep shuddering!!)



FOUR



I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I

asked.



She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now

I

can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would

have a battery to fit this?'



'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.





'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took

the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and

check about the batteries. It's a long walk... . '





PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!





FIVE



Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and

turned to a secretary and

said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the

photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank

piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five

'blank' copies.



Brunette, by the way!!



SIX



A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the

emergency room, the kid had

eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine,

the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer... ... '



Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'



Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

 

[MVenditti]

Not as funny as yours but a true story. I was working part time at a friends bagel store deli making bagels. He also did catering with 3 and 6 foot heroes. He left a note for the girl to make a 3 foot hero, 1/3 american, 2/3 Italian. She came to me and asked how do I know how much is 1/3 and how much is 2/3. This girl was about to graduate high school and start college. This is our future. :{

 

[SRath]

It makes you worry how girls like that deal with a 31-pill birth control pack in a 28 or 30 day month... The scary answer, of course, is: They don't. They breed.