Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
> > > PRODUCT SUPPORT QUESTIONNAIRE
>
> > > >
>
> > > This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas
Website
>
> > by an
>
> > > employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
>
> > course,
>
> > > does not have a sense of humor, and made the web department take it
down
>
> > > immediately.
>
> > >
>
> > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> > >
>
> > > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order
>
> > to
>
> > > protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
>
> > > warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is
not
>
> > > required, but the information will help us to develop new products
that
>
> > best
>
> > > meet your needs and desires.
>
> > >
>
> > > 1. Title
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_]
>
> > Classified
>
> > > [_] Other
>
> > >
>
> > > First Name: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..... Initial:
>
> > ... .....
>
> > > Last Name:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... . Password:
>
> > > ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..... (max. 8 char) Code
>
> > > Name:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > >
>
> > > 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15 Eagle [_] F-16 Falcon [_] F-117A Stealth [_]
>
> > > Classified
>
> > >
>
> > > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ... ..... /... ... . /... ...
>
> > >
>
> > > 4. Serial Number: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > >
>
> > > 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Received as gift / aid package [_] Catalogue / showroom [_]
>
> > Independent
>
> > > arms broker [_] Mail order [_] Discount store [_] Government surplus
[_]
>
> > > Classified
>
> > >
>
> > > 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product
>
> > you
>
> > > have just purchased:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store display [_] Espionage [_]
>
> > > Recommended by friend / relative / ally [_] Political lobbying by
>
> > > manufacturer [_] Was attacked by one
>
> > >
>
> > > 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
>
> > decision
>
> > > to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Style / appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability [_] Price / value
[_]
>
> > > Comfort / convenience [_] Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended by
salesperson
>
> > [_]
>
> > > McDonnell Douglas reputation [_] Advanced Weapons Systems [_] Backroom
>
> > > politics [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> > >
>
> > > 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] North America [_] Iraq [_] Iraq [_] Aircraft carrier [_] Iraq [_]
>
> > Europe
>
> > > [_] Iraq [_] Middle East (not Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa [_] Iraq [_]
Asia
>
> > /
>
> > > Far East [_] Iraq [_] Misc. Third World countries [_] Iraq [_]
Classified
>
> > [_]
>
> > > Iraq
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
>
> > purchase
>
> > > in the near future:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer Satellite [_] Satellite
Killer
>
> > [_]
>
> > > CD Player [_] Air-to-Air Missile [_] Space Shuttle [_] Home Computer
[_]
>
> > > Nuclear Weapon
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate
all
>
> > that
>
> > > apply
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist [_] Crazed [_] Neutral [_]
>
> > Democratic
>
> > > [_] Dictatorship [_] Corrupt [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> > >
>
> > > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Deficit spending [_] Cash [_] Suitcases of cocaine [_] Oil
revenues
>
> > [_]
>
> > > Personal check [_] Credit card [_] Ransom money [_] Traveler's check
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > 12. Your occupation:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Homemaker [_] Sales / marketing [_] Revolutionary [_] Clerical [_]
>
> > > Mercenary [_] Tyrant [_] Middle management [_] Eccentric billionaire
[_]
>
> > > Defense Minister / General [_] Retired [_] Student
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > 13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
>
> > interests
>
> > > and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a
>
> > regular
>
> > > basis:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_] Sabotage [_] Running / jogging [_]
>
> > > Propaganda / misinformation [_] Destabilization / overthrow [_]
Default
>
> > on
>
> > > loans [_] Gardening [_] Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling [_]
>
> > Collectibles
>
> > > / collections [_] Watching sports on TV [_] Wines [_] Interrogation /
>
> > torture
>
> > > [_] Household pets [_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage /
reconnaissance
>
> > [_]
>
> > > Fashion clothing [_] Border disputes [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> > >
>
> > > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
>
> > answers
>
> > > will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve
you
>
> > > better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
>
> > > special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups,
and
>
> > > mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you
will
>
> > be
>
> > > registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
Sweepstakes!
>
> > >
>
> > > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>
> > McDONNELL
>
> > > DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
>
> > addressee(s)
>
> > > named above and may contain information that is confidential
privileged
>
> > or
>
> > > unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense
of
>
> > > humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
>
> > > recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is
>
> > not
>
> > > authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an
>
> > irritating
>
> > > social faux pas.
>
> > >
>
> > > Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context
>
> > somewhere
>
> > > other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical
use
>
> > and
>
> > > may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this
email,
>
> > > although the pit bull next door is living on borrowed time, let me
tell
>
> > you.
>
> > >
>
> > > Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be
gratified
>
> > to
>
> > > learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning
>
> > > backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However,
by
>
> > > pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer
you
>
> > can
>
> > > ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
>
> > >
>
> > > If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and
egg
>
> > > whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes >>
>
>
>
> > > >
>
> > > This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas
Website
>
> > by an
>
> > > employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
>
> > course,
>
> > > does not have a sense of humor, and made the web department take it
down
>
> > > immediately.
>
> > >
>
> > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> > >
>
> > > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order
>
> > to
>
> > > protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
>
> > > warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is
not
>
> > > required, but the information will help us to develop new products
that
>
> > best
>
> > > meet your needs and desires.
>
> > >
>
> > > 1. Title
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_]
>
> > Classified
>
> > > [_] Other
>
> > >
>
> > > First Name: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..... Initial:
>
> > ... .....
>
> > > Last Name:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... . Password:
>
> > > ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..... (max. 8 char) Code
>
> > > Name:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > >
>
> > > 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15 Eagle [_] F-16 Falcon [_] F-117A Stealth [_]
>
> > > Classified
>
> > >
>
> > > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ... ..... /... ... . /... ...
>
> > >
>
> > > 4. Serial Number: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > >
>
> > > 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Received as gift / aid package [_] Catalogue / showroom [_]
>
> > Independent
>
> > > arms broker [_] Mail order [_] Discount store [_] Government surplus
[_]
>
> > > Classified
>
> > >
>
> > > 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product
>
> > you
>
> > > have just purchased:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store display [_] Espionage [_]
>
> > > Recommended by friend / relative / ally [_] Political lobbying by
>
> > > manufacturer [_] Was attacked by one
>
> > >
>
> > > 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your
>
> > decision
>
> > > to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Style / appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability [_] Price / value
[_]
>
> > > Comfort / convenience [_] Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended by
salesperson
>
> > [_]
>
> > > McDonnell Douglas reputation [_] Advanced Weapons Systems [_] Backroom
>
> > > politics [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> > >
>
> > > 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be used:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] North America [_] Iraq [_] Iraq [_] Aircraft carrier [_] Iraq [_]
>
> > Europe
>
> > > [_] Iraq [_] Middle East (not Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa [_] Iraq [_]
Asia
>
> > /
>
> > > Far East [_] Iraq [_] Misc. Third World countries [_] Iraq [_]
Classified
>
> > [_]
>
> > > Iraq
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or intend to
>
> > purchase
>
> > > in the near future:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer Satellite [_] Satellite
Killer
>
> > [_]
>
> > > CD Player [_] Air-to-Air Missile [_] Space Shuttle [_] Home Computer
[_]
>
> > > Nuclear Weapon
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Indicate
all
>
> > that
>
> > > apply
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist [_] Crazed [_] Neutral [_]
>
> > Democratic
>
> > > [_] Dictatorship [_] Corrupt [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> > >
>
> > > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Deficit spending [_] Cash [_] Suitcases of cocaine [_] Oil
revenues
>
> > [_]
>
> > > Personal check [_] Credit card [_] Ransom money [_] Traveler's check
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > 12. Your occupation:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Homemaker [_] Sales / marketing [_] Revolutionary [_] Clerical [_]
>
> > > Mercenary [_] Tyrant [_] Middle management [_] Eccentric billionaire
[_]
>
> > > Defense Minister / General [_] Retired [_] Student
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > 13. To help us better understand our customers, please indicate the
>
> > interests
>
> > > and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a
>
> > regular
>
> > > basis:
>
> > >
>
> > > [_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_] Sabotage [_] Running / jogging [_]
>
> > > Propaganda / misinformation [_] Destabilization / overthrow [_]
Default
>
> > on
>
> > > loans [_] Gardening [_] Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling [_]
>
> > Collectibles
>
> > > / collections [_] Watching sports on TV [_] Wines [_] Interrogation /
>
> > torture
>
> > > [_] Household pets [_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage /
reconnaissance
>
> > [_]
>
> > > Fashion clothing [_] Border disputes [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> > >
>
> > > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
>
> > answers
>
> > > will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve
you
>
> > > better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and
>
> > > special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups,
and
>
> > > mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you
will
>
> > be
>
> > > registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder
Sweepstakes!
>
> > >
>
> > > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>
> > McDONNELL
>
> > > DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > >
>
> > > IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual
>
> > addressee(s)
>
> > > named above and may contain information that is confidential
privileged
>
> > or
>
> > > unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense
of
>
> > > humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended
>
> > > recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is
>
> > not
>
> > > authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an
>
> > irritating
>
> > > social faux pas.
>
> > >
>
> > > Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context
>
> > somewhere
>
> > > other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical
use
>
> > and
>
> > > may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this
email,
>
> > > although the pit bull next door is living on borrowed time, let me
tell
>
> > you.
>
> > >
>
> > > Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be
gratified
>
> > to
>
> > > learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning
>
> > > backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However,
by
>
> > > pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer
you
>
> > can
>
> > > ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
>
> > >
>
> > > If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and
egg
>
> > > whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes >>
>
>
