Hi Bob!
There IS a way you can identify which gear ratio the vehicle has. The Dana rear axle housings have a little tag on them (held by the differential cover bolts) that will tell you what the ratio is.
You could also jack it up and do the wheel revolution, driveshaft revolution comparison, but that's not convenient and it's imprecise.
As for your other questions:
There are many different combinations, and each has different fuel milage figures. 3500 is worse than 2500. 4. 10 is worse than 3. 54. 4x4 worse than 4x2. Quad cab worse than standard cab (with same bed). So on and so forth.
As far is i know, 3. 54 is by far the most common ratio. Few dealers order the 4. 10 because you have to be towing VERY HEAVY loads to need that ratio. BUT, if you are going to find a 4. 10, it's most likely in a 3500 (made to tow).
in the Dodge trucks, there is no 2500 Dually. You have to get the 3500 to get dual wheels. In fact, ALL dodge 3500s are duallies (at least 2002 and earlier). The only difference between a 2500 and a 3500 is the dual rear wheels. The frames, brakes, cab, etc. etc. is all the same. The only difference in terms of running gear is that the 3500 comes with a Dana 80 rear end standard, while it is optional (only with HO and 6-speed) on the 2500s. Otherwise, 2500s comes with the Dana 70 standard.
You can expect a difference of about 2 mpg between a 3500 and a 2500, because the 3500 has a lot more weight to carry, and it has more rolling resistance with the dual wheels. Plus, it's less aerodynamic, though I doubt that means much.
Empty, highway fuel economy can be as high as 22-23 for a stick shift, 2500 2wd. A 3500 automatic 4x4 will max out around 17-18 hwy. Every truck is different, so these are just estimates. Gear ratio also plays a role.
Since you are in the market for a truck, let me make some suggestions. Unless you NEED a 3500, stick with the 2500. By NEED I mean that you tow a LOT (very often) and you tow very HEAVY loads, and/or you tow large, unstable loads (tall 5th wheels, etc. ). The 3500 is more stable under load, and is ideal for towing.
But for all OTHER uses, the 2500 is better. Lighter, faster, cheaper, better mileage, easier to maneuver (without extra wheel width). if you tow only occasionally, get the 2500. it's more liveable day-to-day.
Don't worry about all the questions. We all were new at some point, and you have to start somewhere. I hope that this helps you out a bit. It won't be long until you're answering questions from the "new guys"
HOHN