Great comedian quotes/jokes?

[bmoeller]

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits



Albert Einstein

Got that right.

 

[DKayser]

He`ll really be in "tater" heaven on the 23rd!

He's been on the Bob and Tom show a time or 2.

I have tickets for the "tater" when he comes to Boise. I have been training my diaphragm for the workout it is gonna get by watching the comedy channel nightly. The wife doesn`t much care for the "diamonds, that`l shut her up!" Go figure. Don.

 

[loncray]

Yeah, my wife gave me the ol' hairy eyeball at the 'diamonds' line, but I was laughing so hard I didn't care.

 

[Tee]

Ron White,



"I had the RIGHT to remain silent, ---- but I didn't have the ability!"



One of my favorites,



And when he goes thru the whole deal on getting sperm from his dog Sluggo! ROFLMFA



Vet - "Ron, we can show you how to get the sperm from Sluggo so you don't have to bring him in here. "



Ron - "Naw, thats alright. That dog follows me around too much already!"

 

[bmoeller]

The wife doesn`t much care for the "diamonds, that`l shut her up!" Go figure. Don.

My mom and sisters thought it was funny. So do I. :-laf

 

[J Shocik]

The only time I heard Bill Cosby use a curse word in one of his comedy routines, he was talking about why one uses the drug Cocaine. "To enhance your personality" he was told. His answer: " But what if you're an ***hole?"

 

[Sageair]

Some people learn by listening, some people learn by watching, and some just have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. (author unknown)